11-20: General Discussion - Accountancy Forum Topics

Accounting Puzzles

Let's share our experience about puzzles we came across..... to start with... An accountant wrote these figures at the slip, paid nothing and left the hotel. It read like this "1004180". What it meant??? Mmmmm!!!! funny isn't it?... Nop!!! it simply means "I owe nothing, For I ate nothing".

About Paper Shredding

Let's talk about Paper Shredding: TERM MEANING Latest "IN" Office equipment: A Paper Shredder Latest Banned Office Equipment: A Paper Shredder Best Office Machine: A Paper Shredder Worst Office Machine: A Paper Shredder Audit Working Papers File: A Paper Shredder Auditors' Nightmare: A Paper Shredder Auditors' Last resort: A Paper Shredder Auditors' Death Wish: A Paper Shredder Kiss of Death: A Paper Shredder Biggest Professional Secret: A Paper Shredder Senior's advice to Junior: A Paper Shredder Sixth Sense: A Paper Shredder Nonsense: A Paper Shredder I Love You: A Paper Shredder I Hate You: A Paper Shredder Let's do something about: A Paper Shredder Forget about it: A Paper Shredder Most Qualified Person: A Paper Shredder Operator Most Condemned Person: A Paper Shredder Operator Most Loving Person: A Paper Shredder Operator Most Hated Person A Paper Shredder Operator Persona Non Grata: A Paper Shredder Operator A Paper Shredder: A Machine that shreds Accounting Firms A Paper Shredder A Machine to justify weekly fee of US$ 1,000,000 A Paper Shredder Badly needed A Paper Shredder I wish You were Here ------------------- Knock… Knock… Knock…!!!!.... "Who's there????" "Paper Shredder Seller…!!!"… "Get Lost You Dammit".

"do(two) Islam" & "do (two) Qur'an"

Dear fellows!!! (I don't mean "FELLOWS" of ICAP), I need these two books... "Do (Two) Islam" and "Do(Two) Qur'an"... (As far as I remember, those were written by Dr. Ghulam Gilani Barq") If any of you've got any of these two books,please, please,please.... reply me on my email so that i can arrange to get at least a photocopy of the same. I thank you in advance...

Why My Country Code Is "pk"

..ok.. samajh aa gai.. thanx Edited by - TheOne on May 12 2003 12:58:28 AM Edited by - TheOne on May 12 2003 12:59:38 AM

Accountants Are Surely "boring"

Reason No 1: Because they are Dumb; Reason No 2: Because they don't believe they are Dumb; Reason No 3: Because they doubt about their belief of their Dumbness; Reason No 4: Because they always seek for an audit trail in their belief of their doubt about their Dumbness; Reason No 5: Because they never want to lose a chance to show their Dumbness even if it was a competition of Dumb children; Reason No 6: They always shred their account of Dumbness; Last Reason: Because They were Dumb. (This material was taken from www.CharteredAccountant.ws)

What Makes One "boring"? - Re-edited

If accountants were boring, you could see every accountant carrying a "Drill Machine" at his/her shoulders every now&then. Perhaps largest boring people are Oil Companies engineers or Tube well installers. Also, there are Miners who have created numerous huge bores into the Earth. I've also seen at times that plumbers&even electricians become quite quick boring things. Obviously, it's the "Drill Machine" that makes you boring, if you've got one. Now, how can accountants be the most "Boring" people??? So, unless you're cought red handed with a drill machine in your hands, don't let anybody declare you "Boring".....and also neither try to "Bore" anybody nor let anyone to "Bore" you. Whether it's skull or your knee, never try to get them closer to any type of drill machine i.e. the "Boring Thing". Yet another bore in body can lead to many types of death. It's terrorism. So, let's fight against boring people and boring things...and let's fight against terrorism. Edited by - TheOne on May 12 2003 01:16:00 AM Edited by - TheOne on May 15 2003 9:38:53 PM

Chartered Accountant's Club.

Hell fellows (including ICAP Fellows)!! Why shouldn't there be an exclusive Club for Chartered Accountants? I think that it's a must have for ICAP. What do you think???

I Cap... U Cap ... V Cap...!!!

I Cap means... "Mein Topi Pehnata Hoon". This is ICAP... here we learn how to Cap other people, Cap the "Gin" in the bottles and rest of all stuff that can not be Capped by others. Here students learn how to Cap Principals&their Partners, Supervisors, Seniors, Juniors, colleagues and the Clients; Here Principals learn how to Cap their Partners, clients, Co-Auditors, Shareholders, Stock Exchanges, the Government and all those who are already Capped; We are a Mass of "Capping Experts" equipped with all sorts of capping materials&"Creative" techniques... And We are also a Mess of D-Capped disoriented grey headed creatures which lack grey matter. Because to most of us grey matter doesn't matter. Majority of us has long ago stopped growing at "Ends" but we are still growing in the Middle and in the banks. Sometimes people call us ACA (A Cool A**) and when we further grow in the middle we become FCA (the F***ing Cool A**). We keep on Capping each other... one another... everybody.... as it's not only our profession but also our passion, hobby and habbit... yet we are D-Capped and bald lot... Sadly there's only one institution to teach expertise of "I Cap" which is highly in demand. Global Capping demand is rising day by day.. so I demand that there should also be institutes like "U Cap" "V Cap" etc etc.... Edited by - TheOne on May 13 2003 02:13:30 AM Edited by - TheOne on May 13 2003 02:34:35 AM

Gender Equality????? Anywhere???

Asalam o alaikum.. today in corporate culture and CA firms culture (theres a little difference) there is great emphasis on 'gender equality', and this was focused to remove hinderances in WOMEN'S way to working in these cultures. But hasnt this gone realy tooooo far???? It has sort of become 'reverse discrimination' that is against 'Male' gender!!! Focusing on our firms' culture,,(true there aint many ladies, but that's not 'our' fault, its probably cause ICAP is a little too tough) the females get lots of 'previliges' or rather 'rights' for instance most of 'em dont get to go to 'choona' clients (only unless they wanna go their themselves for better prep.) 2nd they rarely get to sit in the office after 6 in the evening (that is the most), now this gives 'em the extra amount of time (which u can understand is so much precious when u literally have to beg for those 50 days of leaves) plus they never seem to get the scolding (which is a very light word) of their seniors...... I mean I'm not saying to reverse the situation or change the situation, cuz I know it wont be done, but the fact is nobody (even ourselves) dont recognize this fact that we are at a disadvantage to our female colleagues..... so my main purpose to bring to this 'discussion' was to get us to recognize that 'they' have an unfair advantage.... and if u wanna contribute, well that's what this forum is for

Percentage Game

Born Dull?!: Play the percentages game Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful. What makes life 100%? If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Then: H A R D W O R K 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% K N O W L E D G E 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% But, A T T I T U D E 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100% And, B U L L S H * T 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103% So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullsh*t will put you over the top. And look how far a** kissing will take you. A * * K I S S I N G 1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14=120% (courtesy: Born Dull - Accountingweb) Nice Calcluator... S T U P I D I T Y 19 20 21 17 9 4 9 20 25 = 144% (That's why some wise man said "Knowledge has limits but Stupidity&Nonesense is limitless) Edited by - TheOne on Jun 06 2003 1:37:51 PM