111-120: General Discussion - Accountancy Forum Topics

Balance Sheet Of Life

Our Birth is our Opening Balance ! Our Death is our Closing Balance! Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities , Our Creative Ideas are our Assets, Heart is our Current Asset , Soul is our Fixed Asset , Brain is our Fixed Deposit , Thinking is our Current Account , Achievements are our capital , Character&Morals our Stock-in-Trade, Friends are our General Reserves , Values&Behaviour are our Goodwill, Patience is our Interest Earned, Love is our Dividend , Children are our Bonus Issues , Education is Brands / Patents , Knowledge is our Investment , Experience is our Premium Account , The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately. The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award. S M R

What If It Industry ............. ????

What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies? Some Film titles may be like these : -- ** Network Ke Us Paar ** Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai ** Aao Chat Kare ** Programmer No.1 ** Mera Naam Developer ** Java Wale Job Le Jayenge ** Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein ** Do Processor, Baarah Terminal ** Tera Code Chal Gaya ** Har Din Jo Mail Karega ** Debugging Koi Khel Nahi ** Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehatha Hai ** Raju Ban Gaya MCSE ..! ** Client Ek Numbari, Programmer Dus Numbari ** Login Karo Sajana ** Naukar PC Ka ** 1942 -- A Bug Story ** Kaho Na Virus Hai ** Crash Se Crash Tak ** Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai ** Shaheed Hacker Singh ** Password De Ke Dekho ** Terminal Apna , Login Parayi ** Mr. Network Lal ** Terminal Sajaake Rakhna ** Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani ** Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha ** Phir Theri Java-script Yaad Aayi ** Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!! S M R

Another Accountant Joke!

An accountant was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back in his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an accountant. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog... now that's cool!" OSA

Yet Another Joke!

Four doctors who hadn't seen each other since their surgical residencies met at a medical seminar. Adjourning for dinner and drinks, they started talking about what makes a good surgical patient. The first said, "Electrical engineers, because you open 'em up and everything is color-coded." "Nah," said the second. "It's librarians. You open 'em up and everything is alphabetized." The third scoffed. "Of course not," he said. "It's accountants. You open 'em up and everything is numbered." "Lawyers," said the fourth, with a shake of his head. "It's lawyers, you idiots! No heart, no guts, no spine, and the ass and the brain are interchangeable." OSA

There Is A Will There Is A Way

could anyone plz tell me the meaning of 'there is a will there is a way', plz rep in roman urdu thanx S Dar

The Situation Can Be Totally Opposite,

A guy was convincing his girlfriend to marry him, he said, Look darling, My dad is a cancer patient, and doctors says that he will die within six months, and he has 3 Cars, and 2 1000 Yards Banglows, etc. etc. etc. and if u will marry me then all these things can be yours, the girls asked him to give her a week time, After a Week She was his "MOTHER" S M R

Boys Vs. Girls ---- Using Atms

Boys: 1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser. 2. Insert card 3. Dial code and desired amount 4. Take the cash, the card and the slip Girls: 1. Drive to the bank 2. Engine stalled 3. Check make-up in the mirror 4. Apply perfume 5. Manually check haircut 6. Park the car - failure 7. Park the car - failure 8. Park the car - Success 9. Search for the card in the handbag 10. Insert card, rejected by the machine 11. Throw phone card back in handbag, 12. Look for bank card. 13. Insert Card 14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written) in Handbag 15. Enter code 16. Study instructions for 2 minutes 17. #Cancel# 18. Re-enter code 19. #Cancel# 20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code 21. Enter desired amount 22. #Error# 23. Enter bigger amount 24. #Error# 25. Enter maximum amount 26. Cross fingers 27. Take cash 28. Go back to the car 29. Check make up in rear mirror 30. Look for keys in handbag 31. Start car 32. Drive 50 meters 33. STOP 34. Drive back to bank machine 35. Go out of the car 36. Take card and ticket back from machine 37. Go back to the car 38. Throw card on passenger seat 39. Throw slip on the floor 40. Check make up in rear mirror 41. Manually check haircut 42. Go into roundabout - wrong way 43. BRAKE 44. Go into roundabout - right way 45. Drive 5 kilometers 46. Remove hand brake 47. Call boyfriend/husband to tell how miserable she was because of HIM. S M R

Boorhi Ghori Lal Lagam

Buddies i was surprised that old ladies used to do so much fashions in comparison to young girls. In Islam a lady can dress up and do fashions just to impress her husband not to the whole community. Old ladies with face full of old age marks used to do such fashions which make them look odd. Their language potrays that they pretended to be a 16 year old girl. This is ridiculous, by the way why always ladies afraid of their age, why not men have the fear of age complex. Think over it girls

Bill Gayes Buys Love

Bill Gates Buys Some Lovin' Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party. They are talking and Bill says: "I've seen some great pictures of Divine Brown lately, I sure would like to get together with her!" Hugh replies: "Well Bill, you know ever since our incident, her price has skyrocketed, she's charging a small fortune." Bill: "Hugh, money's no object to me. What's her number." So, Hugh gives Bill her number and Bill sets up a date. They meet&after they finish, Bill is lying there in ecstasy, mumbling "God...now I know why you chose the name Divine." To which she replies: "Thank you, Bill.....and now I know how you chose the name ..... Microsoft." OSA

Love Letter......

An Indian chap was deeply in love with a pretty girl, whom he wanted to marry. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her. HE WROTE : Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation. I have a strong indication. to become your relation. As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication that I have passed my matriculation examination; no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation. What do you say to the solemnization of our marriage celebration according to the glorification of modern civilization and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation. On your approbation of the application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration it will be our augmentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint dissimilation. Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion, To remain victim of your fascination. SHE REPLIED : Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination, Congratulation for your lengthy narration of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation for a combination which on examination I find is a fine presentation of your ambition. You have passed your matriculation with little preparation, what about my graduation after a long botheration, so improve situation in education and make an application by acquisition of post graduation and minimum qualification for the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation undergo beautification. And Mr. further strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation for the determination of our relation. 1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my connection. 2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of any other fascination and, 3. Procreation must not be your recreation. In anticipation of a solid action instead of continuation of paper conversation. I Remain, Unaffected by your affection. S M R