711-720: General Discussion - Accountancy Forum Topics

Accountant's Approach - Why Students Fail?

It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails, because each year has an ONLY 365 days. Typical academic year for a student. Sundays 52, Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days. Summer holidays 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance 263 days. 8 hours daily sleep means 122 days. Balance 141 days. 1 hour for daily playing (good for health) means 15 days. Balance 126 days. Two hours daily 1 for food&other delicacies (chew properly&eat) means 30 days. Balance 96 days. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) means 15 days. Balance 81 days. Exam days per year at least 35 days. Balance 46 days. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival holidays) 40 days. Balance 6 days. For sickness at least 3 days. Balance 3 days. Movies and functions at least 2 days. Balance 1 day. & that 1 day is your Birthday. «·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`·» «.......... A D N A N ...............» «·´`·.(¸.·*(¸.·´ `·.¸)*·.¸).·´`·» madnan_arshad@hotmail.com

Question Of The Week?

Check your Arithmetic Ability: Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. finally multiply the sum with Zero (0). What is the TOTAL/AGGREGATE? SUGGESTED ANSWER: I know that you get 5000? Your Answer is Absoutly WRONG. The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check it with your calculator!

Microsoft (ms)

The helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer." ---------------------- If Microsoft built cars you would need to RESTART your car every one mile, then IT WOULD PERFORM AN ILLEGAL OPERATION&CRASH. ---------------- Made in Pakistan| ---------------- «·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`·» «.......... A D N A N ...............» «·´`·.(¸.·*(¸.·´ `·.¸)*·.¸).·´`·» madnan_arshad@hotmail.com

Staff Cars

Mr. Hafizur Rehman is a senior retired civil servant turned columnist. Through his weekly columns both in Daily DAWN and Daily The News he has written 8-10 columns on his favourite subject “Staff Cars”. His second most favourite subject is why should not we give alams to those who raise hands before you, children who offer through your car window to sell you small items likes combs. A fortnight back he again penned down his favourite staff cars subject. He narrated how important and a matter of ego is the staff car for a bureaucrat. He also narrates how the staff cars are misused which is a fact known to every citizen of this nation. He quotes an Officer in Sindh using his staff car as a wagon [perhaps two or three years back, if my memories are not misguiding me in my this retirement age I remember reading a news item that a Pakistan Embassy car in a Western country was found being used for home delivery of newspapers]. Mr. Hafizur Rehman further add that no government has ever seriously tried to control this misuse and lavish expense. However, according to his latest column, only Ms. Benazir Bhutto once took a serious and immediate notice when it came to her knowledge that a Minister was using about 8 staff cars for his family. But what came out of this serious notice he does not know. He wonders why should after all the staff cars be. Simultaneous to his latest column also came a news that the Cabinet Division was considering to amend the Staff Car Rules to make it more rationale. The outcome of it will exactly be the same as to the late 80s fate of use of small cars of high officials. There are two angles in this matter. The one is proper or improper use of staff car allotted to an officer for performing the official duties. The other angle of it and which Mr. Hafizur Rehman has never touched, is the staff cars going home with a retired officer. Some categories of high ranking officials are entitled that on retirement they may opt to take home with them their staff cars on payment of depreciated or book value which is always very nominal. There are many such rules existing in our beloved country. For example recently two Federal Ministers took official watches worth Rs. 5,50,000 each on payment of just Rs, 45,000 of course legally under the procedure. During last one or two years of retirement of the concerned official the staff car in his use under one Note or one Summary undergoes major changes like change of new tyres, engine having collapsed needing new, new car seats etc, In fact during these last one or two years the concerned staff car gets completely new life, except the Hull, by injecting funds heavily. This big capacity staff car turned personal car on retirement getting ownership changed when goes home in fact merely goes on the cost of a second hand motorcycle. It is very interesting to note from Mr. Hafizur Rehman’s latest column that Ms. Benazir Bhutto took serious note of misuse of staff cars by a Minister. Mr. Justice (Retd) Syed Usman Ali Shah during same Ms. Benazir Bhutto created a new record in Pakistan by desiring to take with him a staff car third time on his retirement as Federal Ombudsman. Earlier, as per press, he had already availed of this facility once retiring as a Judge and second time retiring as Governor. On his demand third time the Cabinet Division or perhaps some other authority objected to it on the ground needing a clarification if a person having already availed the facility is re-entitled and according to the press report the case was then lying on the table of same Ms. Benazir Bhutto for her decision. Did she approve the retiring officer’s request or declined either I missed reading or perhaps the press had no interest to apprise the citizens of this debit ridden unfortunate nation. However most astonishing for a reader and a conscientious citizen like me is that Mr. Hafizur Rehman who loves so much writing on staff cars has never wished to inform his readers about the fate of above summary lying with Ms. Bhutto. I cannot believe Mr. Hafizur Rehman would be as ignorant like an ordinary citizen like me because Mr. Hafiz Rehman has worked long in the office where the above official demanding third staff car lastly worked and Mr. Hafiz must have a natural link with his ex colleagues.

How To Identify An Idiot? ---- 3 Idiots

(1) He spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said, "concentrate". (2) He puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind. (3) He gets stabbed in a shoot-out. (4) He sends a fax with a stamp on it. (5) He tries to drown a fish. (6) If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change. (7) He trips over a cordless phone. (8) He takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept. (9) At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here", he puts "Sagittarius". (10) He takes 2 hours to watch "60 minutes". (11) He invents a solar powered flashlight. (12) He heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so he moves. (13) He misses the No. 14 Bus, and takes the 7 twice instead. (14) He takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", and he turned around and went home. (15) He got locked in a furniture shop but sleeps on the floor. (16) He spends time reading thru the above 15 points and analyses if he is an idiot!!! «·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`·» «.......... A D N A N ...............» «·´`·.(¸.·*(¸.·´ `·.¸)*·.¸).·´`·» madnan_arshad@hotmail.com

10 Most Stupid Queries?

People usually ask obvious situations and some equally stupid answers: 1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends... Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here? Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here. 2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt? Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again? 3. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask... Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people. Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you? 4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good? Answer: No, it’s terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it. 5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years. Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well? Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money. 7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping? Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron. 8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut? Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding. 9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts? Answer: No it won’t. It will just bleed. 10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke. Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ...it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames «·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`·» «.......... A D N A N ...............» «·´`·.(¸.·*(¸.·´ `·.¸)*·.¸).·´`·» madnan_arshad@hotmail.com

Islam & Polyandry :

The Most Basic Question (Islamic Issue of The West): If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a woman from having more than one husband? Answer: A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women. Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical. Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with whom Muslim men can not marry. It is further mentioned in Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verse 24 “Also (prohibited are) women already married” The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam: 1. If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present. 2. Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman. 3. Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle. 4. A woman who has more than one husband will have several *****ual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or *****ually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital *****. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital *****. The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry. «·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`·» «.......... A D N A N ...............» «·´`·.(¸.·*(¸.·´ `·.¸)*·.¸).·´`·» madnan_arshad@hotmail.com

Plz Ans This Q In Yes Or No

Assalam-o-alikum[:)] Kiya aap ko Pagal pan kay daooray pernay band ho gay hain?[:0] Donot mind its for our general knowledge..[:D] Ok Allah hafiz n take care[:)] " NOthing in this world can compansate for the loss of self-respect,nobleness of mind and self-honour "

Lataif Hi Lataif

DIS MISS aik principal larko ko samjha rahi thi k junhi mein “dis miss” kahun, tumaam larke class ko chale jaeen. Abhi principal ne dis hi kaha tha k tumaam larke bhaag kar class ko chale gaey, magar nadeem sabir kharra raha. “Tum kyun kharre ho” principal ne ghussey se poocha. Madam mein aap ki “miss” ka intazaar kar raha tha, nadeem sabir ne masumiyat se kaha. source:aurat aik shararat by khan akbar ali khan.

Unless We Ourselves Become A News

Abdul Razzaq Siddiqui of Karachi is 78 years old sick and blind. Through his letter 21 January 2006 he explains how troublesome it is for him to be taken every month to National Savings Center where it takes hours, no sitting facilities, how costly getting proper transport for old and above all one relative to take one day off from office to accompany. He wonders why an authorized representative can not attend and withdraw from his pensioners investment account. Mr. Razzaq should first understand that miseries of others are only a news for us unless we ourselves become a news. A few years back a retired officer in Lahore died jumping from fourth floor of his own ex office. Reason was his own ex-colleagues for the last many months still had not prepared his pension papers. He tasted the same medicine which he was giving to others when they visited for their pension. The interim government of Ch. Choudhary Shujat for the first time officially recognized that in this old age a retired person becomes physically weak and needs some comfort at home. But what he practically did was nothing except free entry to Zoos and “merely in books” respect for senior citizens. In 1990 on my petition terming it a humanitarian issue raised by the citizen petitioner the then Federal Ombudsman directed the demised Pakistan Banking Council that in future there would be joint accounts in the Banks. The national newspapers wrote editorials praising this decision. In 1995 a Lahore citizen raised the same issue that decision should also be applicable to National Savings and Pakistan Post Office who also deal with similar accounts. State Bank of Pakistan resisted that it had no jurisdiction over these two departments. The Federal Ombudsman however terming that the issue was important and of public interest directed the SBP to implement it. National Savings and Pakistan Post Office never implemented and did not allow pensioner investors to have joint accounts. My mother is 75. She is picked up every month on Taxi never running on meter and with her trembling hands she is to scribble her signature in the Center which are even then not recognized. For the last more than 5 years I have addressed to more than 20 who matter drawing their attention to this humanitarian cause. But never got any response. Having failed to get any headway from any other sector last year I raised the issue once again. The dealing officer from Ombudsman Secretariat informed me that decision was already implemented!! On the other hand however the same SBP whom in 1995 the Ombudsman directed to implement was telling me these two organizations were not under its control which in other words mean it never attended to or cared for 1995 Federal Ombudsman Order. I have now written to His Excellency the President of Pakistan who really has a great hear for common man and wishes very sincerely to do something for masses. The issues relates to masses and not affects the legislators, ministers or the senior top bureaucracy as they do not need drawing pension monthly nor do they need to attend National Savings as they are to withdrawn through credit cards, voice banking hence Mr. Abdul Razaq should not have any high hope that someone will listen to his cries. Remember the senior bureaucrat who advised the Government of the time not to implement the Federal Ombudsman decision about removal of disparity of pension between new and old and advised the government to go in appeal, on his retirement was getting Rs. 1.20 lacs monthly just a rent from his rented bungalow. So why should this category need any pension or attending to National Savings? National Savings, as I understand take the shelter that a son, a wife or a daughter cannot be allowed as a joint signatory with an old pensioner investor as this facility could be misused. It is totally un-logical similarly as National Savings had some other rules non existing elsewhere in the world. For example once, I was told that within the same city transfer of an account was not allowed. When I took up the matter an argument of really no sense came that within the same city transfer there is a “risk” involved while transfer from one city to another city was safe. There is no logic in National savings refusal not allowing joint account. There are many techniques one can by passing such a foolish rule invest in so called pensioners accounts but the point is lack of normal human sympathies and spirit of welfare of people.