Accountancy Forum

Well the topic is specificly about 2nd chance to give or not to give to ur friends
when u have finnaly found out k

they have

1-betrayed/deceived you
2-lied to you on continously basis
3-taken u as granted
4-tried to be smart with u (make fool of u)
5-caused some physical or psycological or financial harm to u intentionally
6-jalousy of u (cause they cant stand with ur progress,fame,ability)
7-prefered some one else upon u (caused harm to ur self ego in this way (i have not used self ego in negative sence in here))

and

8-used u for their own sake.

personlay speaking i have given 2nd chance to three persons in my life

1st two of the persons did the same mistakes again so i never gave them 3rd chance

only the 3rd person a very good friend of that and this time of mine proved the value of 2nd chance and i am always thankful
to him for this(as i m bad in making friends and worst in retaining them (have made 2-3 friends only in last 7-8 years)
however i m good enough in having sincere usual/routine hello hi with others)

@Sensible as u have told that u never like to give second chance to any one.will u like to tell the reason of such attitude of urs plz?

(i m sure at break up point u might not argue at all with the other person or tell him/her his/her act which might have caused u to reach at such decision but just to tell the person his/her approach in precise words would be enough for u)

@Wardah u always seems to be an open minded forgiving type person who doesnt mind whatever the other person says to her when later on such person says k i have just joked with u or i was kidding not serious at all etc

(and i do beleive u expect same type of behaviour from others too but its very rare that some one do so up to the extent u desired)

my questions from u are

<b>
what to do

when relationship become sort of laibility?

when one of the persons cant trust the other one because he/she thinks k other one lie to him/her very oftenly?

when most of time together is spent in asking/giving clerifications cause of lack of trust?

when the other person feels continouse strong mental pressure cause of u should he/she adopt ur style of forgiving and forgetting all the times (despite such pressure) or should he/she left u in a proper /decent/rememberable/good way ended style so that later upon both may remember each other in good manner.

or is there some way in ur view to continue even in existance of all circumstances mentioned above at start of topic?
</b>

@anamz u seems like a sensitive girl in this regard <b>too</b> what is ur opinion about 2nd chance?

@Yasir,Ciapk and others - you may also contribute do reply the questions in bold format in context of any/all circumstance(s)specified at start of topic.


at end i will like to quote an sms i like most

<b> When people walk away from u,let them go.Your destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves u and it doesnt mean k they are always cruel. It's just that k their part in your life story is over"</b>

Regards

In my opinion, 2nd chance must be given to your close ones. This may make them realize the value of the relationship to them so that they would avoid any such act going forward. However, if someone again repeats such thing, then there should be no 3rd chance and its better to part ways with such people becoz most likely these habits are natural to them and they'll keep on doing so which would cause problems in future as well..

Well I think 2nd chance ka talluq Aap ki nature say hota hay, Personally in my case meray saath masla yeh hay k Ek martaba jo meray Dil say Uttar jata hay phir main uss say Salaam Duaa bhi khatam kar deta hun.

Lakin Yeh bhi hay k har waqt meray dost nahi buntay, salaam dua hazaaron say hay lakin reserved nature honay ki waja say Yaari dosti life k her phase main kuch logon say hi rahi hay. Achay dost milay humesha jin k saath khoob chill kisam ka time guzra. Kuch Yaar dost hain jin say abb dostian khatam ho chuki hain Tu abb un say salam dua bhi nahi hoti Jab k ek waqt tha k hum Poori poori raat ghoomtay phirtay Aur ayashian kartay thay lakin Ab.............


Lakin main esa bunda nahi hun k her cheeze Aur her banday main bilawaja keeray nikalun Aur apna dil kharab karun, koi na koi Valid reason raha hay Mari dostian khatam honay main.

Regards.

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, san" id="quote">quote<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Kasim</i>

<b> When people walk away from u,let them go.Your destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves u and it doesnt mean k they are always cruel. It's just that k their part in your life story is over"</b>

Regards
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Well first of all I'll admire you for starting such a nice topic and the quote you have mentioned is quite good this is what I exactly do. As far as second chance is concerned,I think it should be given. And I, too many times have given chance to them who have so many times lied me. Belive me or not, no one is sincere in this world. You will have to be sincere with yourslef first.

But topic is something else, If God can give us so many chances so why not we human.

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, san" id="quote">quote<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by yasir_live</i>
<br />
Well I think 2nd chance ka talluq Aap ki nature say hota hay, Personally in my case meray saath masla yeh hay k Ek martaba jo meray Dil say Uttar jata hay phir main uss say Salaam Duaa bhi khatam kar deta hun.

Lakin Yeh bhi hay k har waqt meray dost nahi buntay, salaam dua hazaaron say hay lakin reserved nature honay ki waja say Yaari dosti life k her phase main kuch logon say hi rahi hay. Achay dost milay humesha jin k saath khoob chill kisam ka time guzra. Kuch Yaar dost hain jin say abb dostian khatam ho chuki hain Tu abb un say salam dua bhi nahi hoti Jab k ek waqt tha k hum Poori poori raat ghoomtay phirtay Aur ayashian kartay thay lakin Ab.............


Lakin main esa bunda nahi hun k her cheeze Aur her banday main bilawaja keeray nikalun Aur apna dil kharab karun, koi na koi Valid reason raha hay Mari dostian khatam honay main.

Regards.

<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">




I totaly agree with Yasir, cent percent. Properly same views.

I am not so social at all I am a sort of ethical obeying person to me these matters alot and If someone lose this line in communication with me I just leave those people. Well I have many many many things to write on this. But in short I never give a second chance although sometimes I want to.... To me <b>"Ek baar jo dil sy utar gaya phir dobara kabhe nahe"</b>


Sorry to say but me very strick.

I do believe in giving a lot of chances to my loved ones but after giving every chance I do make realize them that there are limited number of chances and the day will come soon then there will be no chance at all. So, final is that k main chances daita hun but mujy khud b nai pta hota k last chance konsa hoga, phr jb last chance aa jay then no options.

A very nice topic man.
I've found that the cause of many big problems in very close n dear relations is 'misunderstanding'.
Before concluding any negative conclusion, we should try to ask the concerned person to clearify the situation. that what we are assuming he/she has done with the same intent. I think this act is very inportant for our own sake and for others. And you remind me here one of my dearest friend that he gave me second chance but the basis of that incident was misundestanding; as I didnt do the way he preceived. Still, i'm thankful for his second chance.
Now, if our findings support our judgements, than comes the point of giving chance. There is hadith that goes like this' momin aik he sanp sy do bar nhe dasa ja skta'. I think finishing the relation is not the wisdom out of it, rather we should modify our attitude towards the person and manage the relation accordingly.
Leaving a person is emotional decision; and at times may be we dont have option to leave as he/she might be our blood relative. despite this fact, i think leaving is not a wise decision.
awaiting feedback' especially of the owner of topic himslef; Kasim.
regards

ufffff!! itny saray swal,abhi to maira dimagh itna bhari bojh uthany k qabil bhi ni hua.but phir bhi aik aik q ka ans daina to boht mushkil hai mairy liey.but phir b jahan tk maira taluq hai yeh 2nd third chance to mujhy smjh hi ni ata.mai to jub bhi koi rishta jorti hon mukaml sincerety k sath jorti hon,jo jaisa hota hai man-o-an bta k chlti hon dhoka dainy ka soch bhi ni skti,trust krti hon tbhi sb kuch share krti hon isi yaqeen k sath k samny wala bhi mujhpy usi trhan sy trust kry ga.n i dont know either its my plus pt or minus but jinko bhi mai dil sy maan lon apni liking list mai shamil kr lon wo kbhi mujhy bury lg hi ni skty.unki kbhi koi baat buri lgy bhi to dimagh mukhalift kry bhi to maira dil khud hi mujhy safaiyan dy k k uski achi achi baatain yaad dila k maira gusa ya us k liey negativity khtm kr daita hai.mairi koshsh hmaisha yei hoti hai k koi mairi wja sy hurt na ho.kio k mujhy pta hai hurt hony py kitna bura asr prta hai mujh py to mently n physically dono trhan sy prta hai.or waisy bhi jo ap k dil mai jgah bna lain un k liey chances ki numbering krna not fair.insan ho nrm or pyar bhra dil diya hai rub ny shukr krna chahye pther bn k kia mily ga?? jb Allah humko humari galtion py mauf krta hai itny mauqy daita hai smbhlny k hum sy mon ni morta to bhla humari kia bisaat k ana lain apny dil mai skhti lain.mairi dosti purity k sath hai.char din ki zindagi hai itni calculation kn sath kio guzarni,jisko jitni khushi dy sko uska drd dukh bant sko banto.baqi sb Allah py chor do.

WAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA, gddddd, gddddddddddd -)

i think 2nd chance dena chahiye Friends me sub chalta hai...

Distracted i mostly dont argue with some one about my point of view/ topic etc

but as u have especaily asked me
so let me tell u some thing

if u r sure that some one is not sincere with u (cause of any reason mentioned at start of topic with numberings) and u have also given 2nd chance to that person and he do same thing again

then its better to leave the person on his own

as its really painful to walk with some one whom is not sincere to u despite of all ur sincerety to him/her

and yes off course leaving the person may include adjusting urself too but in extreem cases u may opt other options too

sorry for late reply i was busy last days

regards

I am a reserved nature person. m bhi kisi ko 2nd chance habhi nai deti even us ka nam tak nai sunti . Jab m kisi ke sath sincere hun tu ye zaroor expect karun gi ke doosra bhi sincere rahy

Kbi kbi kuch rishtay paoon ki zanjeer bn jatay hain tu chances dainay prtay hain

yup agreed with ciapk