09-02-2010, 10:13 PM
Dear members,
On request of one of the friend I feel glad to post few details about soul sickness disease normally named as Hardheartedness in Islamic circles. Before going in to details of the disease, I would like to describe the complete human being in few sentences.
The man is just like a machine which has different type of physical and non physical component as well as nature of human beings, we all are aware about physical ones and few people may know about the others.
The Components of Human Nature
In order to understand the Islamic concept of human psyche and nature, one must understand these terms and their relationship to each other. These basic terms are explained here.
Nafs lexically means soul, the psyche, the ego, self, life, person, heart or mind ( some timeNafs is interchangeably used with word Ruh, as there is difference of opinion also exist whether or not Ruh and Nafs both are same things and there is great debatable topic I donât want.
There are three broad levels of Nafs.
1. Nafs e Ammarah the first level which urge a human for evil, the Quran says about fatal impact of nafs e ammar on our nature as
They have hearts wherewith they do not understand; have eyes wherewith they do not see; have ears wherewith they do not hear. These are like cattle â no, but they are worse! These are the neglectful.â (7-179)
2. Nafs al-lawwama, (the blaming self)
Nafs al-lawwama, the blameworthy self which blames its owner for his own shortcomings. At this level, nafs is in a state of constant awareness, self-observation and self-criticism. It recognises his shortcomings, his wrong actions, his di***edience and the neglect of his duties. It often changes and alters, remembers and forgets, submits and withdraws, loves and hates, rejoices and becomes sad, accepts and rejects, obeys and rebels. Actually nafs, at this stage, is in the mid of its journey towards its growth and perfection.
3. Nafs al-mutmaâinna, (the Self at Peace)
Nafs al-mutmaâinna is the third and the highest stage of nafs. A person when advanced to this stage, he achieves full rest and satisfaction while his personality gets equipped with the qualities of quietness, mildness, tolerance, forgiveness, and understanding of all beings.
4. Qalb ( Heart)
The qalb (heart) is an immaterial and formless spiritual entity or basic subtle element which has got connection with the material heart. The qalb has the capacities to acquire comprehensive intuition, to retain real knowledge, the gnosis (maârifa) of God
5. Ruh (Spirit)
The nafs only exists because of the ruh which energizes it.
Relationship of Nafs, Ruh, and Qalb
According to a Hadith of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) the heart ( Qalib) is owned mutually by an angel and a shaytan
"There are two impulses in the soul, one from an angel which calls towards good and confirms truth; whoever finds this let him know it is from God and praise Him. Another impulse comes from the enemy which leads to doubt and denies truth and forbids good; whoever finds this, let him seek refuge in God from the accursed devil." Then he recited the verse "The devil shows you fear of poverty and enjoins evil upon you" (2268) (Sahih Tirmidhi)
The mutual resistance of the angels and the devils remains constant in the battle over the qalb, until it is conquered by one of the two.
The same position of al-qalb and its relationship with al-ruh and al-nafs has been interestingly explained by Maulana Thanwi
âThe spirit (al-ruh) and the soul (al-nafs) engage in the battle for the possession of their common son, the heart (al-qalb). (Thanvi, Ashraf Ali, al-sihhat hukm al-waswasah, (Deoband 1365 A.H.), 225)
Now a days we muslims in general obey Nafs Ammara and Nafs Lawamma few the pious people may gone in the level of Nafs e Mutmainnah.
Common Disease of the Qalib and Nafs
Imam Ghazali has mentioned the following negative tendencies of this nafs naming tem with âspiritual diseasesâ
1- Nifaq (hypocrisy)
2- Pride and arrogance
3- Hawa or desire
4- Self-beholding ( Khud pasandi)
5- Greediness
6- Negligence (Hardheartedness)
7- Restlessness ( Impatiance)
8- Riâa ( Dikhawa)
My friend asked me about a disease known as negligence or hardheartedness.
Hard-heartedness Symptom, Disapproval, Causes and Remedies
Reasons and Symptoms
Committing Sins
Some people insist on committing the same sins over and over again. As a result, repugnance of sins is slowly withdrawn from their heart to the point that they commit these sins openly as described in this Hadith
"All of my followers will be forgiven except those who commit sins openly. Such is the case of a man commits a sin at night and Allah had his sin concealed till the morning comes. But, he says openly 'O so and so, I did such and such yesterday.' Allah had covered his sin, but he uncovered the veil of Allah from it." (Related by Al-Bukhari).
Hardening of the Heart
The person reaches a stage where he feels that his heart has turned into a solid rock that is not affected by anything. Allah says "And yet, after this, your hearts hardened and became like rocks, or even harder." (Al-Baqarah, 274). A hardened heart is not affected by anything - even seeing people die and attending funerals would not move it. The person with a hardened heart may even carry a corpse and bury it, yet, he walks in the graveyard as if he were strolling between pine trees!
Performing Acts of Worship Poorly
Such a person remains absent-minded during prayers and while reciting the Qur'an. He also does not contemplate upon the meaning of the supplications he is making. As a result, he recites them in a monotonous tone void of any reflections. He does not think for a moment about the value of these supplications. He forgets that "Allah does not accept the supplication from an inattentive, heedless heart." (Related by Al-Tirmidhi).
His acts of worship are reduced to hollow movements with no spirit behind them. Allah describes the hypocrites "And they do not remember Allah but little." (Al-Nisa', 4142).
A hard hearted person remains indifferent when he does not perform some good deeds and misses those times of worship that have more reward in them. His lack of interest to earn rewards is obvious. Delaying Hajj when he is capable of performing it, missing congregational prayers in the Masjid, and even the Jumu'ah prayer are a few examples of this. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam [pbuh] said "People will continue to withdraw to rows behind the first one until Allah puts them in a back place in Hell." (Related by Abu Dawud).
Furthermore, he does not feel remorse if he misses obligatory duties and does not try to perform the different Sunnah prayers or invocations that he misses. He ignores them, convincing himself that they are only Sunnah!
Lack of Tranquillity
His breast gets tightened, his mood changes, he feels as if he is carrying a heavy load, and he becomes annoyed quickly because of minor things. He gets pestered by the behavior of the people around him and he does not forgive them easily. He harbors malice towards fellow Muslims over insignificant issues. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam has described Iman to be forgiveness "Iman is patience and forgiveness." (Related by Al-Tirmidhi). In another Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam described the believer in the following manner "He makes friends and is befriended and there is no goodness in (one who) does not make friends or is not befriended." (Related by Al-Tirmidhi).
Verses of the Qur'an Have No Effect Upon Him
The promises, warnings, commands, prohibitions, and descriptions of the Day of Judgment do not make his eyes flood with tears, or his heart quiver, or his soul shiver. Consequently, he gets bored and tired when he listens to the recital of the Qur'an!
He is Negligent in Remembering Allah
This simple act of devotion becomes heavy upon him to the point that when he raises his hands in supplication, he hastens to fold them up quickly to conclude it. He is not eager to repent to Allah, the Mighty and Glorious, and to make invocations to Him for his needs. Allah describes the hypocrites "And when they stand up to pray, they stand with laziness and to be seen of men, and they do not remember Allah but little." (Al-Nisa', 4142).
He Does Not Get Angry When the Commandments of Allah Are Violated
This is because the glowing light of honor in his heart has been extinguished and as a result, his limbs have become numb to repudiate evil. So he does not bother to enjoin good or forbid evil. This is due to a weak heart as indicated by the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam "Temptations are presented to the heart, one by one. Any heart that accepts them will be left with a black stain, but any heart that rejects them will be left with a mark of purity, until the hearts become one of two types a dark heart that has turned away and become like an overturned vessel, and a pure heart that will never be harmed by temptation for as long as the earth and the heavens exist." (Related by Muslim).
So the desire of enjoining good and forbidding evil disappears from a sick heart. Good and evil are the same to it.
Rather, the person may even be happy to hear about the corruption that is being committed on earth. His unfortunate soul forgets that the sin upon him is the same as the sin upon the person who witnessed the evil and approved of it, as the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said
"When a sin is committed on earth, the one who witnessed it and hates it is like one who was absent from it, and the one who was absent from it but was pleased with it (after he found out about it), it is like he witnessed it. (Related by Abu Dawud)
Since being pleased with the sin is a deed of his heart, it makes the sin upon him equal to the sin of the one who witnessed it.
He loves to be in Gatherings and be Engrossed in Talking
He tries to impose his views on others and likes the discussion to center around him. Gatherings in which idle talk takes prominence are considered like slaughter houses from which the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam warned us when he said
"Watch out for the slaughterhouses (meaning) gatherings." (Related by Al-Bayhaqi).
He is Arrogant
He likes people to stand up for him when he enters to meet them because feeling great gratifies his diseased soul. the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "The one who is pleased that the slaves of Allah stand up for him, then let him be assured of his place in the Fire." (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)
Mu'awiyah Ibn Abi Sufyan entered upon two companions of the Prophet, Ibn 'Amir stood up and Ibn Zubayr sat down. Seeing this, Mu'awiyah said to Ibn 'Amir "Sit down, because I heard the Messenger of Allah say 'The one who loves that another man stand up for him, then let him rest assured of his sitting place in the Fire."' (Related by Abu Dawud).
A similar example is that he will get angry at a person who applies the Sunnah and starts shaking hands with people on his right hand side. Also, when he enters a gathering, he is not satisfied unless someone else, already sitting, gets up so that he may sit in his place despite the fact that he is forbidden to do so by the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam
"Let not a man make another one stand for him then sit in his place." (Related by Al-Bukhari).
Stinginess and Greed
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has praised those who spend their wealth for good causes and at the same time blamed those who are miserly. In the Qur'an Allah has praised the Ansar for the way they gave preference to the Muhajirun (Muslims who migrated from Makkah) over themselves "But they (Ansar) give them preference over themselves even though they were in need of that (the booty). And whosoever is saved from his own covetousness, such are they who will be the successful." (Al-Hashr, 599).
Allah has clarified that the successful ones are those who protect themselves against stinginess. Without doubt, weakness of Iman is born from stinginess as the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "Iman and covetousness can never come together in the heart of a slave." (Related by Al-Nasa'i).
Concerning the dangers of stinginess and its effects upon one's soul, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam explained it to be "Beware of covetousness, because the ones before you perished because of covetousness. It induces them to be miserly so they became misers and it induced them to break the ties (of kinship) so they broke it and induced them to commit sins so they committed sins." (Related by Abu Dawud).
A greedy person also has a weak Iman. He scarcely spends anything for the sake of Allah even if he is called to donate in charity when his Muslim brothers are hungry and afflicted by hardships. There is nothing clearer in this matter than the Book of Allah "Behold! It is you who are called to spend freely in Allah's Cause but even among you are such as turn out to be niggardly! And yet, he who acts niggardly in Allah's Cause is but niggardly towards himself for Allah is Rich, and you are poor. And if you turn away from Him, He will cause other people to take your place, and they will not be the likes of you." (Muhammad, 4738)
He Falls into Doubtful Matters
When he performs an action, he does not ask if it is an act of righteousness, but rather will it earn him any sin or not. This is exactly what the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam informed us of "But he who falls into doubtful matters falls into that which is unlawful, like the shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary, all about grazing therein. Truly, every king has a sanctuary, and Allah's sanctuary is His prohibitions." (Related by Muslim).
When such people ask for a fatwah (Islamic ruling) about something, and find out that it is forbidden, they do not give up. They want to know how severe the prohibition is. How many sins does he earn if he commits it? He is not concerned to stay away from evil and sinful deeds, rather he is inclined to take the first step towards haram things by belittling the burning effects of sins which run him the risk of committing haram, and remove the screen between him and the sin. This is why the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "Know that some people from my Ummah will come on the Day of Judgment with good deeds like the white mountains of Tihama, but Allah will make them scattered dust." Thawban said, 'O Messenger of Allah, describe them to us, so that we may not be one of them without knowing it!' He said, "They will be your brothers, and from your people, and they will take from the night as you do (meaning prayers, etc.), but they are a people who, when they were alone with the prohibitions of Allah, violated them." (Related by Ibn Majah).
So, you will find him engulfed in forbidden things without any protection or shielding, and this is more evil than the one who commits them but with some reluctance. These people commit sins with ease as a result of their ailing Iman and do not see their act to be an evil one. This is how Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud radhiallahu anhu described the way a believer and a hypocrite perceive sins "A believer sees his sins as if he were sitting under a mountain, fearing it might fall upon him, while a sinner sees his sins as a fly passing over his nose, so he gets rid of it with his hand." (Related by Al-Bukhari).
Belittling Good Deeds
There is lack of concern on the part of the sick at heart to perform small deeds of righteousness contrary to what the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam has taught us when he said "Do not belittle any small act of kindness even if it is to pour water from your bucket into the vessel of the one who asks for it or to talk to your brother with a cheerful face." Related by Ahmad.
So, acts that appear to be minor should not be underestimated. Hence, meeting a fellow Muslim with a smiling face and removing trash and dirt from the Masjid - even as little as a straw - entails great rewards. It may be that a small deed becomes a reason for the forgiveness of major sins. Allah thanks His slave for these small deeds and forgives him. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "Once, a man saw the branch of a tree in the middle of a road. So, he said, 'By Allah, I will remove this from the path of the Muslims so they may not be hurt.' For this action, he was put in Paradise." (Related by Muslim).
Mu'adh Ibn Jabal was once walking with someone. He removed a pebble from the way. The man asked Mu'adh why he did that. Mu'adh answered him 'I heard the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhe wa sallam say "One who removes a stone from the way has a good deed written for him, and one for whom a good deed is written shall enter Paradise.'" (Related by Al-Tabarani).
Not Caring About the Affairs of Muslims
A person with a sick heart does not react to the needs of Muslims by making supplications, giving charity, or offering assistance. He does not care if his brothers are afflicted by a hardship in any part of the world such as being overwhelmed by the enemy, being persecuted, or being stricken by disasters. It is enough for him that his conditions are good! This is because of his ailing Iman; A believer is the opposite of that as described by the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam "A believer feels pain for the believers, just as the body feels distress over what is troubling the head." (Related by Ahmad).
He is Deprived of the Friendship of Brothers
The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "Two persons who became friends for the sake of Allah do not separate except because of a sin committed by one of them." (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad).
This is a proof of the evil effects of sins it breaks the ties of brotherhood. This alienation that a person finds between himself and his brothers is sometimes the result of a decline in Iman which results from committing sins. So the love others have for him dwindles.
Showing Grief and Fear When Afflicted by a Hardship or When in Difficulty
Such a person is often found to be shaky in offering obligatory duties, unbalanced, absent minded, lost, and fidgety. He is not able to face reality with unwavering limbs and a firm heart. All of this is due to ailing Iman.
If the Iman were strong, he would have been firm and faced the greatest of hardships with strength and steadfastness.
Disputing and Arguing Unnecessarily
Much engagement in these habits hardens the heart as the Prophet said "A people never went astray after being upon guidance except through disputes." (Related by Ahmad).
So, argumentation without proof and proper intention takes one away from the Straight Path. These days, most people argue falsely and without knowledge or guidance. It is enough for them to leave this bad habit after knowing what the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "I guarantee a house in the outskirts of Paradise to the one who gives up arguing even if he were on the right side." (Related by Abu Dawud).
Attachment to Worldly Life
He is so materialistic that he feels anguish when something of this life, like wealth, honor, status, etc, is taken away from him. He feels as if he has been injured badly because he did not get what others did. His feeling of injury becomes stronger and he feels rejected on seeing his Muslim brother get something of this world which did not reach him. Envy takes root in his heart so he wishes that this bounty be taken away from his brother. This is what the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam warned us against "Never can Iman and envy come together in the heart of a slave." (Related by Al- Nasa'i).
His Speech is Void of the Etiquette of the Qur'an and Sunnah
The signs of Imart are absent from him. You will barely find in this person's speech quotations from the Qur'an, or Sunnah, or the sayings of the early pious generations of Muslims.
These are some of the symptoms of a weak faith. By becoming aware of the symptoms, one has made the first step towards the remedy.
Disapproval of heartlessness
Allah says, âThen, after that, your hearts were hardened and became as stones or even worse in hardness.â [Al-Baqarah 274]
Imam Al-Qurtubi said explaining this verse âHardness means rigidness, harshness and stiffness. It is an expression for (hearts) which are empty of due to past acts and lack of obedience to Allahâs Ayaat (signs and verses).â Tafsir Al-Qurtubi (1/430)]
Then He explained the cause of these hearts being harder than stones âAnd indeed, there are stones out of which rivers gush forth, and indeed, there are of them (stones) which split asunder so that water flows from them, and indeed, there are of them (stones) which fall down for fear of Allah. And Allah is not unaware of what you do.â [Al-Baqarah 274]
Allah also said, âHas not the time come for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allahâs Reminder (this Qurâan), and that which has been revealed of the truth, lest they become as those who received the Scripture before (i.e. Jews and Christians), and the term was prolonged for them and so their hearts were hardened?â [Al-Hadeed 5716]
Allah said, âIs he whose breast Allah has opened to Islam, so that he is in light from His Lord (as he who is non-Muslim)? So, woe to those whose hearts are hardened against remembrance of Allah! They are in plain error!â [Al-Zumar 3922]
So, Allah described the Jews and Christians to be hardhearted and forbade us from being like them.
In Sunan Al-Tirmithi it is narrated from Ibn âUmar, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said, âDo not speak much without remembering Allah, for talking much without remembering Allah is (a cause for) the hardening of the heart. And indeed, the person most distant from Allah is one with a hardened heart.â
Malik Bin Dinar said, â The greatest punishment a slave (of Allah) can get is hardheartedness.â It was narrated by âAbdullah Bin Ahmad [Bin Hanbal] in Kitab Al-Zuhd.
Hudhaifah Al-Marâishi said, âNo one has been afflicted with a greater calamity than hardheartedness.â This was narrated by Abu Nuâaim [in Hilya]
Causes of Hardheartedness
There are many reasons for hardheartedness, some of which are
a. Speaking a lot without remembering Allah, as mentioned in the hadith of Ibn âUmar above.
b. Breaking the treaty with Allah, Who said, âSo because of their breach of their covenant, We cursed them, and made their hearts grow hard.â [Al-Maidah 513]
Once while delivering a sermon Ibn âAqeel said, âO, the one who finds hardness in his heart! Beware of breaking pacts because Allah says, âSo because of their breach of their covenantâ¦â â
c. Laughing too much. In Sunan Al-Tirmithi, it has been narrated from Abu Hurairah, âDo not laugh too much since excessive laughter kills the heartâ. Al-Tirmithi said that it has been reported that this hadith is actually the saying of Al-Hasan Al-Basari himself, (not the Prophetâs words).
Ibn Majah narrated from the route of Abu Raja Al-Jazari to Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âExcessive laughter causes the heart to die.â Ibn Majah also narrated the hadith from the route of Ibrahim Bin âAbdullah Bin Hunain to Abu Hurairah.
d. Excessive eating, especially if the diet is doubtful or illegal (haram).
Bishr Bin Harith said, âTwo attributes harden the heart excessive speech and excessive eating.â It was narrated by Abu Nuâaim.
Al-Mirwathi mentioned in Kitab Al-Waraâ I said to Abu âAbdullah [Imam Ahmad Bin Hanbal], âCan a person be tenderhearted while he eats to his fill?â Imam Ahmad replied, âI donât think so.â
e. Too many sins. Allah says, âNay! But on their hearts is the Ran (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn.â [Al-Mutafiffin 8314]
It has been reported by Imam Ahmad in Al-Musnad and Al-Tirmithi in Sunan that Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said, âWhen the believer commits sin, a black spot appears on his heart. If he repents and gives up that sin and seeks forgiveness, his heart will be polished. But if (the sin) increases, (the black spot) increases. That is the raan which Allah mentions in His Book âNay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earnâ .â Al-Tirmithi said that it is sahih (authentic).
Some of the early scholars said When the body is uncovered from its clothes, it becomes weak, but when the sins of the heart decrease (i.e. it is uncovered from the Raan), its tears flow quickly.
Similarly, âAbdullah Bin Al-Mubarak said
I think sins kill the heart. Addiction to sins humiliates you giving up sins gives life to the heart it is good for you to di***ey your (urge to commit) sins
Remedies of Hardheartedness
a. Remembering Allah much with the heart and tongue together.
Al-Muâalla Bin Ziyad said that a man said to Al-Hasan Al-Basari, âO Abu Saâeed, I want to complain to you about my hardheartedness.â He advised him to remedy it with Remembrance of Allah.
Wuhaib Bin Al-Ward said, âWe looked into this hadith, and we do not find anything that makes the hearts more tender and more absorbing for the truth than reciting the Qurâan for the one who reflects on it.â
Yahya Bin Muâadh and Ibrahim Al-Khawas said, âFive things are medicine for the heart reciting the Qurâan with reflection, keeping the stomach empty, worshipping at night, (praying with) humility before dawn and keeping the company of pious people.â
Remedying hardness of hearts by Allahâs Remembrance is based on the Sayings of Allah
âThose who believe and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.â [Al-Raâd 1328]
âAllah has sent down the best statement, a Book (this Quran), its parts resembling each other in goodness and truth, oft-repeated. The skins of those who fear their Lord shiver from it (when they recite it or hear it). Then their skin and their heart soften to the remembrance of Allah. That is the guidance of Allah. He Guides therewith whom He pleases and whomever Allah sends astray, for him there is no guide.â [Al-Zumar 3923]
âHas not the time come for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allahâs Reminder (this Quran), and that which has been revealed of the truthâ¦â [Al-Hadid 5716]
It is mentioned in the mursal [one in which the Companion is dropped from the chain of narrators] hadith of âAbdul âAziz Bin Abi Dawud that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âIndeed, these hearts too rust like iron rusts.â Someone said, âHow can they be polished?â He replied, âReciting Allahâs book and remembering Him much.â
b. Being good and kind to orphans and needy people. Ibn Abi Dunya narrated from Abu Hurairah that a person complained to the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) about the hardness of his heart. The Prophet said to him âIf you want your heart to soften, (affectionately) rub the orphanâs head (with your hand) and feed the needy.â Its chain of narrators is jayyid (good), [though other narrations show that it is probably mursal too.
Abu Nuâaim reported that Abu Al-Dardaâ wrote to Salman, âShow mercy to the orphan, draw him close to you and feed him from your diet. Indeed, I heard the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) say to a person who had come to him complaining of his hardheartedness, âWould you like your heart to be soft?â He replied, âYes.â Therefore, the Prophet said, âDraw the orphan close to you, (affectionately) rub the orphanâs head (with your hand) and feed him from your food, since it will soften your heart and you will be able to fulfill your needs.â â
Abu Talib reported that a man asked Imam Ahmad about how to soften his heart. He said, âGo to the graveyard and rub (affectionately) the orphanâs head.â
c. Remembering death a lot. Ibn Abi Dunya narrated from Safya that a woman came to âAisha and complained about hard heartedness. âAisha told her, âRemember death much. Your heart will become tender and you will be able to fulfill your needs.â Safya said that the woman did as she was told and felt guidance in her heart due to that, so she came to thank âAisha.
Many of the earliest scholars of Islam, including Saâeed Bin Jubair and Rabiâ Bin Abi Rashid used to say, âIf the remembrance of death leaves our hearts for an hour, our hearts will become rotten.â
In Sunan books, it has been reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âRemember much the destroyer of pleasures (i.e. death).â
Al-âAta Al-Khurasani narrated in a mursal fashion that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) passed by a gathering overcome with laughter. He told them to remember theâspoiler of pleasuresâ. They asked him what was that, and he replied, âDeath.â
d. Visiting graves and reflecting upon the condition of the dead in those graves and their fate. We mentioned earlier the incident in which Imam Ahmad was asked about how to soften his heart. He said, âGo to the graveyardâ¦â
It is narrated in Sahih Muslim from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âSo visit the graves, for that makes you mindful of death.â
Buraidah reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, â I forbade you to visit the graves, but now visit them for that makes you mindful of the hereafter.â Narrated by Imams Ahmad and Al-Tirmithi, and the latter also declared it sahih (authentic).
Imams Ahmad and Ibn Abi Dunya narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âI forbade you to visit the graves, (but)then it became clear to me that it tenders the heart, makes the eye shed tears and makes one mindful of the hereafter. So visit them, and do not use bad language.â
Ziyad Al-Numairi said, âWhenever I desired to weep, I used to visit it (grave). A man said to him, âHow is that?â He replied, âIf you intend to weep (to soften your heart), go to the graves and sit besides one of them. Then think about the decay and decomposition they went through and the indulgence we are in! â¦.â
e. Reflecting upon the towns destroyed by Allah as a punishment for their inhabitants and taking lesson from the homes of previous nations.
Ibn Abi Dunya mentioned in âAl-Tafkir wa Al-Iâtibarâ that when âAbdullah Bin âUmar used to tend to his heart, he used to come to ruins (of an ancient town) and stand at its gate. Then he would call out with a sad voice,âWhere are your inhabitants?â and then say to himself, âEverything will perish save His Face [Al-Qasas 2888]â
Ibn Abi Dunya narrated in âKitab Al-Quburâ that when Al-Rabiâ Bin Khuthaim used to feel hardness in his heart, he would go the home of his dead friend in the night and call out, âO so-and-so son of so-and âso! O so-and-so son of so-and âso! I wish I knew what was done to you! âThen he used to weep until tears rolled down his eyesâ¦.
f. Having a halal (legal) livelihood and diet.
Abu Nuâaim and others narrated from âUmar Bin Salih Al-Tarsusi said I and Yahya Al-Jalaâ, who was said to be one of the abdal saints, went to Abu âAbdullah Ahmad Bin Hanbal. Besides him were Buran and Zuhair Al-Jamal. I said, âMay Allah have Mercy on you, Abu âAbdullah. What softens the hearts?â He replied, âDear son, (hearts soften) with eating halal (legal diet earned legally).â I then went to Abu Nasr Bishr Bin Al-Harith and asked him the same question. He replied, âVerily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. [Al-Raâd 1328]â I told him that I had come to him from Ahmad Bin Hanbal, so Bishr asked about Ahmadâs reply. When I told him, he said, âHe came up with the basic factor! The basic factor!â Then I went to âAbdul Wahhab Bin Al-Warraq and asked him the same question. He replied, âVerily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.â I told him that I had come to him from Ahmad Bin Hanbal. âAbdul Wahhabâs cheeks turned red with delight and he asked me what (Imam) Ahmad had replied. When I informed him, he exclaimed, âHe told you the essence. He told you the essence, the perfectly basic factor!â
All Praise is for Allah Alone and Allah knows the best.
On request of one of the friend I feel glad to post few details about soul sickness disease normally named as Hardheartedness in Islamic circles. Before going in to details of the disease, I would like to describe the complete human being in few sentences.
The man is just like a machine which has different type of physical and non physical component as well as nature of human beings, we all are aware about physical ones and few people may know about the others.
The Components of Human Nature
In order to understand the Islamic concept of human psyche and nature, one must understand these terms and their relationship to each other. These basic terms are explained here.
Nafs lexically means soul, the psyche, the ego, self, life, person, heart or mind ( some timeNafs is interchangeably used with word Ruh, as there is difference of opinion also exist whether or not Ruh and Nafs both are same things and there is great debatable topic I donât want.
There are three broad levels of Nafs.
1. Nafs e Ammarah the first level which urge a human for evil, the Quran says about fatal impact of nafs e ammar on our nature as
They have hearts wherewith they do not understand; have eyes wherewith they do not see; have ears wherewith they do not hear. These are like cattle â no, but they are worse! These are the neglectful.â (7-179)
2. Nafs al-lawwama, (the blaming self)
Nafs al-lawwama, the blameworthy self which blames its owner for his own shortcomings. At this level, nafs is in a state of constant awareness, self-observation and self-criticism. It recognises his shortcomings, his wrong actions, his di***edience and the neglect of his duties. It often changes and alters, remembers and forgets, submits and withdraws, loves and hates, rejoices and becomes sad, accepts and rejects, obeys and rebels. Actually nafs, at this stage, is in the mid of its journey towards its growth and perfection.
3. Nafs al-mutmaâinna, (the Self at Peace)
Nafs al-mutmaâinna is the third and the highest stage of nafs. A person when advanced to this stage, he achieves full rest and satisfaction while his personality gets equipped with the qualities of quietness, mildness, tolerance, forgiveness, and understanding of all beings.
4. Qalb ( Heart)
The qalb (heart) is an immaterial and formless spiritual entity or basic subtle element which has got connection with the material heart. The qalb has the capacities to acquire comprehensive intuition, to retain real knowledge, the gnosis (maârifa) of God
5. Ruh (Spirit)
The nafs only exists because of the ruh which energizes it.
Relationship of Nafs, Ruh, and Qalb
According to a Hadith of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) the heart ( Qalib) is owned mutually by an angel and a shaytan
"There are two impulses in the soul, one from an angel which calls towards good and confirms truth; whoever finds this let him know it is from God and praise Him. Another impulse comes from the enemy which leads to doubt and denies truth and forbids good; whoever finds this, let him seek refuge in God from the accursed devil." Then he recited the verse "The devil shows you fear of poverty and enjoins evil upon you" (2268) (Sahih Tirmidhi)
The mutual resistance of the angels and the devils remains constant in the battle over the qalb, until it is conquered by one of the two.
The same position of al-qalb and its relationship with al-ruh and al-nafs has been interestingly explained by Maulana Thanwi
âThe spirit (al-ruh) and the soul (al-nafs) engage in the battle for the possession of their common son, the heart (al-qalb). (Thanvi, Ashraf Ali, al-sihhat hukm al-waswasah, (Deoband 1365 A.H.), 225)
Now a days we muslims in general obey Nafs Ammara and Nafs Lawamma few the pious people may gone in the level of Nafs e Mutmainnah.
Common Disease of the Qalib and Nafs
Imam Ghazali has mentioned the following negative tendencies of this nafs naming tem with âspiritual diseasesâ
1- Nifaq (hypocrisy)
2- Pride and arrogance
3- Hawa or desire
4- Self-beholding ( Khud pasandi)
5- Greediness
6- Negligence (Hardheartedness)
7- Restlessness ( Impatiance)
8- Riâa ( Dikhawa)
My friend asked me about a disease known as negligence or hardheartedness.
Hard-heartedness Symptom, Disapproval, Causes and Remedies
Reasons and Symptoms
Committing Sins
Some people insist on committing the same sins over and over again. As a result, repugnance of sins is slowly withdrawn from their heart to the point that they commit these sins openly as described in this Hadith
"All of my followers will be forgiven except those who commit sins openly. Such is the case of a man commits a sin at night and Allah had his sin concealed till the morning comes. But, he says openly 'O so and so, I did such and such yesterday.' Allah had covered his sin, but he uncovered the veil of Allah from it." (Related by Al-Bukhari).
Hardening of the Heart
The person reaches a stage where he feels that his heart has turned into a solid rock that is not affected by anything. Allah says "And yet, after this, your hearts hardened and became like rocks, or even harder." (Al-Baqarah, 274). A hardened heart is not affected by anything - even seeing people die and attending funerals would not move it. The person with a hardened heart may even carry a corpse and bury it, yet, he walks in the graveyard as if he were strolling between pine trees!
Performing Acts of Worship Poorly
Such a person remains absent-minded during prayers and while reciting the Qur'an. He also does not contemplate upon the meaning of the supplications he is making. As a result, he recites them in a monotonous tone void of any reflections. He does not think for a moment about the value of these supplications. He forgets that "Allah does not accept the supplication from an inattentive, heedless heart." (Related by Al-Tirmidhi).
His acts of worship are reduced to hollow movements with no spirit behind them. Allah describes the hypocrites "And they do not remember Allah but little." (Al-Nisa', 4142).
A hard hearted person remains indifferent when he does not perform some good deeds and misses those times of worship that have more reward in them. His lack of interest to earn rewards is obvious. Delaying Hajj when he is capable of performing it, missing congregational prayers in the Masjid, and even the Jumu'ah prayer are a few examples of this. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam [pbuh] said "People will continue to withdraw to rows behind the first one until Allah puts them in a back place in Hell." (Related by Abu Dawud).
Furthermore, he does not feel remorse if he misses obligatory duties and does not try to perform the different Sunnah prayers or invocations that he misses. He ignores them, convincing himself that they are only Sunnah!
Lack of Tranquillity
His breast gets tightened, his mood changes, he feels as if he is carrying a heavy load, and he becomes annoyed quickly because of minor things. He gets pestered by the behavior of the people around him and he does not forgive them easily. He harbors malice towards fellow Muslims over insignificant issues. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam has described Iman to be forgiveness "Iman is patience and forgiveness." (Related by Al-Tirmidhi). In another Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam described the believer in the following manner "He makes friends and is befriended and there is no goodness in (one who) does not make friends or is not befriended." (Related by Al-Tirmidhi).
Verses of the Qur'an Have No Effect Upon Him
The promises, warnings, commands, prohibitions, and descriptions of the Day of Judgment do not make his eyes flood with tears, or his heart quiver, or his soul shiver. Consequently, he gets bored and tired when he listens to the recital of the Qur'an!
He is Negligent in Remembering Allah
This simple act of devotion becomes heavy upon him to the point that when he raises his hands in supplication, he hastens to fold them up quickly to conclude it. He is not eager to repent to Allah, the Mighty and Glorious, and to make invocations to Him for his needs. Allah describes the hypocrites "And when they stand up to pray, they stand with laziness and to be seen of men, and they do not remember Allah but little." (Al-Nisa', 4142).
He Does Not Get Angry When the Commandments of Allah Are Violated
This is because the glowing light of honor in his heart has been extinguished and as a result, his limbs have become numb to repudiate evil. So he does not bother to enjoin good or forbid evil. This is due to a weak heart as indicated by the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam "Temptations are presented to the heart, one by one. Any heart that accepts them will be left with a black stain, but any heart that rejects them will be left with a mark of purity, until the hearts become one of two types a dark heart that has turned away and become like an overturned vessel, and a pure heart that will never be harmed by temptation for as long as the earth and the heavens exist." (Related by Muslim).
So the desire of enjoining good and forbidding evil disappears from a sick heart. Good and evil are the same to it.
Rather, the person may even be happy to hear about the corruption that is being committed on earth. His unfortunate soul forgets that the sin upon him is the same as the sin upon the person who witnessed the evil and approved of it, as the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said
"When a sin is committed on earth, the one who witnessed it and hates it is like one who was absent from it, and the one who was absent from it but was pleased with it (after he found out about it), it is like he witnessed it. (Related by Abu Dawud)
Since being pleased with the sin is a deed of his heart, it makes the sin upon him equal to the sin of the one who witnessed it.
He loves to be in Gatherings and be Engrossed in Talking
He tries to impose his views on others and likes the discussion to center around him. Gatherings in which idle talk takes prominence are considered like slaughter houses from which the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam warned us when he said
"Watch out for the slaughterhouses (meaning) gatherings." (Related by Al-Bayhaqi).
He is Arrogant
He likes people to stand up for him when he enters to meet them because feeling great gratifies his diseased soul. the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "The one who is pleased that the slaves of Allah stand up for him, then let him be assured of his place in the Fire." (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)
Mu'awiyah Ibn Abi Sufyan entered upon two companions of the Prophet, Ibn 'Amir stood up and Ibn Zubayr sat down. Seeing this, Mu'awiyah said to Ibn 'Amir "Sit down, because I heard the Messenger of Allah say 'The one who loves that another man stand up for him, then let him rest assured of his sitting place in the Fire."' (Related by Abu Dawud).
A similar example is that he will get angry at a person who applies the Sunnah and starts shaking hands with people on his right hand side. Also, when he enters a gathering, he is not satisfied unless someone else, already sitting, gets up so that he may sit in his place despite the fact that he is forbidden to do so by the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam
"Let not a man make another one stand for him then sit in his place." (Related by Al-Bukhari).
Stinginess and Greed
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has praised those who spend their wealth for good causes and at the same time blamed those who are miserly. In the Qur'an Allah has praised the Ansar for the way they gave preference to the Muhajirun (Muslims who migrated from Makkah) over themselves "But they (Ansar) give them preference over themselves even though they were in need of that (the booty). And whosoever is saved from his own covetousness, such are they who will be the successful." (Al-Hashr, 599).
Allah has clarified that the successful ones are those who protect themselves against stinginess. Without doubt, weakness of Iman is born from stinginess as the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "Iman and covetousness can never come together in the heart of a slave." (Related by Al-Nasa'i).
Concerning the dangers of stinginess and its effects upon one's soul, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam explained it to be "Beware of covetousness, because the ones before you perished because of covetousness. It induces them to be miserly so they became misers and it induced them to break the ties (of kinship) so they broke it and induced them to commit sins so they committed sins." (Related by Abu Dawud).
A greedy person also has a weak Iman. He scarcely spends anything for the sake of Allah even if he is called to donate in charity when his Muslim brothers are hungry and afflicted by hardships. There is nothing clearer in this matter than the Book of Allah "Behold! It is you who are called to spend freely in Allah's Cause but even among you are such as turn out to be niggardly! And yet, he who acts niggardly in Allah's Cause is but niggardly towards himself for Allah is Rich, and you are poor. And if you turn away from Him, He will cause other people to take your place, and they will not be the likes of you." (Muhammad, 4738)
He Falls into Doubtful Matters
When he performs an action, he does not ask if it is an act of righteousness, but rather will it earn him any sin or not. This is exactly what the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam informed us of "But he who falls into doubtful matters falls into that which is unlawful, like the shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary, all about grazing therein. Truly, every king has a sanctuary, and Allah's sanctuary is His prohibitions." (Related by Muslim).
When such people ask for a fatwah (Islamic ruling) about something, and find out that it is forbidden, they do not give up. They want to know how severe the prohibition is. How many sins does he earn if he commits it? He is not concerned to stay away from evil and sinful deeds, rather he is inclined to take the first step towards haram things by belittling the burning effects of sins which run him the risk of committing haram, and remove the screen between him and the sin. This is why the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "Know that some people from my Ummah will come on the Day of Judgment with good deeds like the white mountains of Tihama, but Allah will make them scattered dust." Thawban said, 'O Messenger of Allah, describe them to us, so that we may not be one of them without knowing it!' He said, "They will be your brothers, and from your people, and they will take from the night as you do (meaning prayers, etc.), but they are a people who, when they were alone with the prohibitions of Allah, violated them." (Related by Ibn Majah).
So, you will find him engulfed in forbidden things without any protection or shielding, and this is more evil than the one who commits them but with some reluctance. These people commit sins with ease as a result of their ailing Iman and do not see their act to be an evil one. This is how Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud radhiallahu anhu described the way a believer and a hypocrite perceive sins "A believer sees his sins as if he were sitting under a mountain, fearing it might fall upon him, while a sinner sees his sins as a fly passing over his nose, so he gets rid of it with his hand." (Related by Al-Bukhari).
Belittling Good Deeds
There is lack of concern on the part of the sick at heart to perform small deeds of righteousness contrary to what the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam has taught us when he said "Do not belittle any small act of kindness even if it is to pour water from your bucket into the vessel of the one who asks for it or to talk to your brother with a cheerful face." Related by Ahmad.
So, acts that appear to be minor should not be underestimated. Hence, meeting a fellow Muslim with a smiling face and removing trash and dirt from the Masjid - even as little as a straw - entails great rewards. It may be that a small deed becomes a reason for the forgiveness of major sins. Allah thanks His slave for these small deeds and forgives him. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "Once, a man saw the branch of a tree in the middle of a road. So, he said, 'By Allah, I will remove this from the path of the Muslims so they may not be hurt.' For this action, he was put in Paradise." (Related by Muslim).
Mu'adh Ibn Jabal was once walking with someone. He removed a pebble from the way. The man asked Mu'adh why he did that. Mu'adh answered him 'I heard the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhe wa sallam say "One who removes a stone from the way has a good deed written for him, and one for whom a good deed is written shall enter Paradise.'" (Related by Al-Tabarani).
Not Caring About the Affairs of Muslims
A person with a sick heart does not react to the needs of Muslims by making supplications, giving charity, or offering assistance. He does not care if his brothers are afflicted by a hardship in any part of the world such as being overwhelmed by the enemy, being persecuted, or being stricken by disasters. It is enough for him that his conditions are good! This is because of his ailing Iman; A believer is the opposite of that as described by the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam "A believer feels pain for the believers, just as the body feels distress over what is troubling the head." (Related by Ahmad).
He is Deprived of the Friendship of Brothers
The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "Two persons who became friends for the sake of Allah do not separate except because of a sin committed by one of them." (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad).
This is a proof of the evil effects of sins it breaks the ties of brotherhood. This alienation that a person finds between himself and his brothers is sometimes the result of a decline in Iman which results from committing sins. So the love others have for him dwindles.
Showing Grief and Fear When Afflicted by a Hardship or When in Difficulty
Such a person is often found to be shaky in offering obligatory duties, unbalanced, absent minded, lost, and fidgety. He is not able to face reality with unwavering limbs and a firm heart. All of this is due to ailing Iman.
If the Iman were strong, he would have been firm and faced the greatest of hardships with strength and steadfastness.
Disputing and Arguing Unnecessarily
Much engagement in these habits hardens the heart as the Prophet said "A people never went astray after being upon guidance except through disputes." (Related by Ahmad).
So, argumentation without proof and proper intention takes one away from the Straight Path. These days, most people argue falsely and without knowledge or guidance. It is enough for them to leave this bad habit after knowing what the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said "I guarantee a house in the outskirts of Paradise to the one who gives up arguing even if he were on the right side." (Related by Abu Dawud).
Attachment to Worldly Life
He is so materialistic that he feels anguish when something of this life, like wealth, honor, status, etc, is taken away from him. He feels as if he has been injured badly because he did not get what others did. His feeling of injury becomes stronger and he feels rejected on seeing his Muslim brother get something of this world which did not reach him. Envy takes root in his heart so he wishes that this bounty be taken away from his brother. This is what the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam warned us against "Never can Iman and envy come together in the heart of a slave." (Related by Al- Nasa'i).
His Speech is Void of the Etiquette of the Qur'an and Sunnah
The signs of Imart are absent from him. You will barely find in this person's speech quotations from the Qur'an, or Sunnah, or the sayings of the early pious generations of Muslims.
These are some of the symptoms of a weak faith. By becoming aware of the symptoms, one has made the first step towards the remedy.
Disapproval of heartlessness
Allah says, âThen, after that, your hearts were hardened and became as stones or even worse in hardness.â [Al-Baqarah 274]
Imam Al-Qurtubi said explaining this verse âHardness means rigidness, harshness and stiffness. It is an expression for (hearts) which are empty of due to past acts and lack of obedience to Allahâs Ayaat (signs and verses).â Tafsir Al-Qurtubi (1/430)]
Then He explained the cause of these hearts being harder than stones âAnd indeed, there are stones out of which rivers gush forth, and indeed, there are of them (stones) which split asunder so that water flows from them, and indeed, there are of them (stones) which fall down for fear of Allah. And Allah is not unaware of what you do.â [Al-Baqarah 274]
Allah also said, âHas not the time come for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allahâs Reminder (this Qurâan), and that which has been revealed of the truth, lest they become as those who received the Scripture before (i.e. Jews and Christians), and the term was prolonged for them and so their hearts were hardened?â [Al-Hadeed 5716]
Allah said, âIs he whose breast Allah has opened to Islam, so that he is in light from His Lord (as he who is non-Muslim)? So, woe to those whose hearts are hardened against remembrance of Allah! They are in plain error!â [Al-Zumar 3922]
So, Allah described the Jews and Christians to be hardhearted and forbade us from being like them.
In Sunan Al-Tirmithi it is narrated from Ibn âUmar, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said, âDo not speak much without remembering Allah, for talking much without remembering Allah is (a cause for) the hardening of the heart. And indeed, the person most distant from Allah is one with a hardened heart.â
Malik Bin Dinar said, â The greatest punishment a slave (of Allah) can get is hardheartedness.â It was narrated by âAbdullah Bin Ahmad [Bin Hanbal] in Kitab Al-Zuhd.
Hudhaifah Al-Marâishi said, âNo one has been afflicted with a greater calamity than hardheartedness.â This was narrated by Abu Nuâaim [in Hilya]
Causes of Hardheartedness
There are many reasons for hardheartedness, some of which are
a. Speaking a lot without remembering Allah, as mentioned in the hadith of Ibn âUmar above.
b. Breaking the treaty with Allah, Who said, âSo because of their breach of their covenant, We cursed them, and made their hearts grow hard.â [Al-Maidah 513]
Once while delivering a sermon Ibn âAqeel said, âO, the one who finds hardness in his heart! Beware of breaking pacts because Allah says, âSo because of their breach of their covenantâ¦â â
c. Laughing too much. In Sunan Al-Tirmithi, it has been narrated from Abu Hurairah, âDo not laugh too much since excessive laughter kills the heartâ. Al-Tirmithi said that it has been reported that this hadith is actually the saying of Al-Hasan Al-Basari himself, (not the Prophetâs words).
Ibn Majah narrated from the route of Abu Raja Al-Jazari to Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âExcessive laughter causes the heart to die.â Ibn Majah also narrated the hadith from the route of Ibrahim Bin âAbdullah Bin Hunain to Abu Hurairah.
d. Excessive eating, especially if the diet is doubtful or illegal (haram).
Bishr Bin Harith said, âTwo attributes harden the heart excessive speech and excessive eating.â It was narrated by Abu Nuâaim.
Al-Mirwathi mentioned in Kitab Al-Waraâ I said to Abu âAbdullah [Imam Ahmad Bin Hanbal], âCan a person be tenderhearted while he eats to his fill?â Imam Ahmad replied, âI donât think so.â
e. Too many sins. Allah says, âNay! But on their hearts is the Ran (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn.â [Al-Mutafiffin 8314]
It has been reported by Imam Ahmad in Al-Musnad and Al-Tirmithi in Sunan that Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said, âWhen the believer commits sin, a black spot appears on his heart. If he repents and gives up that sin and seeks forgiveness, his heart will be polished. But if (the sin) increases, (the black spot) increases. That is the raan which Allah mentions in His Book âNay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earnâ .â Al-Tirmithi said that it is sahih (authentic).
Some of the early scholars said When the body is uncovered from its clothes, it becomes weak, but when the sins of the heart decrease (i.e. it is uncovered from the Raan), its tears flow quickly.
Similarly, âAbdullah Bin Al-Mubarak said
I think sins kill the heart. Addiction to sins humiliates you giving up sins gives life to the heart it is good for you to di***ey your (urge to commit) sins
Remedies of Hardheartedness
a. Remembering Allah much with the heart and tongue together.
Al-Muâalla Bin Ziyad said that a man said to Al-Hasan Al-Basari, âO Abu Saâeed, I want to complain to you about my hardheartedness.â He advised him to remedy it with Remembrance of Allah.
Wuhaib Bin Al-Ward said, âWe looked into this hadith, and we do not find anything that makes the hearts more tender and more absorbing for the truth than reciting the Qurâan for the one who reflects on it.â
Yahya Bin Muâadh and Ibrahim Al-Khawas said, âFive things are medicine for the heart reciting the Qurâan with reflection, keeping the stomach empty, worshipping at night, (praying with) humility before dawn and keeping the company of pious people.â
Remedying hardness of hearts by Allahâs Remembrance is based on the Sayings of Allah
âThose who believe and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.â [Al-Raâd 1328]
âAllah has sent down the best statement, a Book (this Quran), its parts resembling each other in goodness and truth, oft-repeated. The skins of those who fear their Lord shiver from it (when they recite it or hear it). Then their skin and their heart soften to the remembrance of Allah. That is the guidance of Allah. He Guides therewith whom He pleases and whomever Allah sends astray, for him there is no guide.â [Al-Zumar 3923]
âHas not the time come for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allahâs Reminder (this Quran), and that which has been revealed of the truthâ¦â [Al-Hadid 5716]
It is mentioned in the mursal [one in which the Companion is dropped from the chain of narrators] hadith of âAbdul âAziz Bin Abi Dawud that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âIndeed, these hearts too rust like iron rusts.â Someone said, âHow can they be polished?â He replied, âReciting Allahâs book and remembering Him much.â
b. Being good and kind to orphans and needy people. Ibn Abi Dunya narrated from Abu Hurairah that a person complained to the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) about the hardness of his heart. The Prophet said to him âIf you want your heart to soften, (affectionately) rub the orphanâs head (with your hand) and feed the needy.â Its chain of narrators is jayyid (good), [though other narrations show that it is probably mursal too.
Abu Nuâaim reported that Abu Al-Dardaâ wrote to Salman, âShow mercy to the orphan, draw him close to you and feed him from your diet. Indeed, I heard the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) say to a person who had come to him complaining of his hardheartedness, âWould you like your heart to be soft?â He replied, âYes.â Therefore, the Prophet said, âDraw the orphan close to you, (affectionately) rub the orphanâs head (with your hand) and feed him from your food, since it will soften your heart and you will be able to fulfill your needs.â â
Abu Talib reported that a man asked Imam Ahmad about how to soften his heart. He said, âGo to the graveyard and rub (affectionately) the orphanâs head.â
c. Remembering death a lot. Ibn Abi Dunya narrated from Safya that a woman came to âAisha and complained about hard heartedness. âAisha told her, âRemember death much. Your heart will become tender and you will be able to fulfill your needs.â Safya said that the woman did as she was told and felt guidance in her heart due to that, so she came to thank âAisha.
Many of the earliest scholars of Islam, including Saâeed Bin Jubair and Rabiâ Bin Abi Rashid used to say, âIf the remembrance of death leaves our hearts for an hour, our hearts will become rotten.â
In Sunan books, it has been reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âRemember much the destroyer of pleasures (i.e. death).â
Al-âAta Al-Khurasani narrated in a mursal fashion that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) passed by a gathering overcome with laughter. He told them to remember theâspoiler of pleasuresâ. They asked him what was that, and he replied, âDeath.â
d. Visiting graves and reflecting upon the condition of the dead in those graves and their fate. We mentioned earlier the incident in which Imam Ahmad was asked about how to soften his heart. He said, âGo to the graveyardâ¦â
It is narrated in Sahih Muslim from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âSo visit the graves, for that makes you mindful of death.â
Buraidah reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, â I forbade you to visit the graves, but now visit them for that makes you mindful of the hereafter.â Narrated by Imams Ahmad and Al-Tirmithi, and the latter also declared it sahih (authentic).
Imams Ahmad and Ibn Abi Dunya narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, âI forbade you to visit the graves, (but)then it became clear to me that it tenders the heart, makes the eye shed tears and makes one mindful of the hereafter. So visit them, and do not use bad language.â
Ziyad Al-Numairi said, âWhenever I desired to weep, I used to visit it (grave). A man said to him, âHow is that?â He replied, âIf you intend to weep (to soften your heart), go to the graves and sit besides one of them. Then think about the decay and decomposition they went through and the indulgence we are in! â¦.â
e. Reflecting upon the towns destroyed by Allah as a punishment for their inhabitants and taking lesson from the homes of previous nations.
Ibn Abi Dunya mentioned in âAl-Tafkir wa Al-Iâtibarâ that when âAbdullah Bin âUmar used to tend to his heart, he used to come to ruins (of an ancient town) and stand at its gate. Then he would call out with a sad voice,âWhere are your inhabitants?â and then say to himself, âEverything will perish save His Face [Al-Qasas 2888]â
Ibn Abi Dunya narrated in âKitab Al-Quburâ that when Al-Rabiâ Bin Khuthaim used to feel hardness in his heart, he would go the home of his dead friend in the night and call out, âO so-and-so son of so-and âso! O so-and-so son of so-and âso! I wish I knew what was done to you! âThen he used to weep until tears rolled down his eyesâ¦.
f. Having a halal (legal) livelihood and diet.
Abu Nuâaim and others narrated from âUmar Bin Salih Al-Tarsusi said I and Yahya Al-Jalaâ, who was said to be one of the abdal saints, went to Abu âAbdullah Ahmad Bin Hanbal. Besides him were Buran and Zuhair Al-Jamal. I said, âMay Allah have Mercy on you, Abu âAbdullah. What softens the hearts?â He replied, âDear son, (hearts soften) with eating halal (legal diet earned legally).â I then went to Abu Nasr Bishr Bin Al-Harith and asked him the same question. He replied, âVerily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. [Al-Raâd 1328]â I told him that I had come to him from Ahmad Bin Hanbal, so Bishr asked about Ahmadâs reply. When I told him, he said, âHe came up with the basic factor! The basic factor!â Then I went to âAbdul Wahhab Bin Al-Warraq and asked him the same question. He replied, âVerily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.â I told him that I had come to him from Ahmad Bin Hanbal. âAbdul Wahhabâs cheeks turned red with delight and he asked me what (Imam) Ahmad had replied. When I informed him, he exclaimed, âHe told you the essence. He told you the essence, the perfectly basic factor!â
All Praise is for Allah Alone and Allah knows the best.