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+--- Thread: Keep Smiling....(Budget is coming!!)... (/showthread.php?tid=111)
Keep Smiling....(Budget is coming!!)... - TheOne - 06-07-2003
Three accountants were in the urinal performing their morning constitutional. The first finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried. Turning to the other 2 accountants, he says - "Chartered Accountants are trained to be extremely thorough".
The second finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries every drop of water from his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turns and says - "Certified Accountants are not only trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient".
The third accountant finishes and walks straight for the door. "Management Accountants learn not to piss on their hands."
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An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor "This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old".
"Where did you get this exact information?"
"I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old."
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an accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing, then surely an accountant is someone who costs everything and is worth nothing!
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What's the difference between the male sperm and an accountant?
The sperm has a 1 in 250,000 chance of becoming human.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
The accountant knows he is boring.
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What did the terrorist who hijacked a plane full of accountants threaten to do if his demands weren't met?
Release one every hour.
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What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?
Go into town and gang-audit someone.
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Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?
Because on the box it said Concentrate.
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Why was the accountant so excited that he completed a jigsaw puzzle in only 59 weeks?
Because on the box it said 8-12 Years.
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A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We're here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?"
The owner replies, "I don't have an opinion. I'm a chartered accountant."
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An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, "Did you get my message where I said, 'Ship the Enron documents to the Feds'?"
The manager goes white. "Oh My God! I thought you said "Rip the Enron documents to shreds."
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This is a true story.
An auditor was examining the balance sheet of a mining company that had just bought a sheep station in the Pilbara area of Western Australia. The reason for the purchase was partly for the thousands of acres that the station covered and partly for the thousands of sheep that ranged over those thousands of acres. The auditor, being very diligent, noted that the value of the sheep formed a significant asset and, like all good auditors, knew that he would have to verify that asset. He chartered an aircraft and flew up to the station. The manager was at the airstrip to meet him.
"Hello," he said. "I'm the auditor. I've come to count the sheep."
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What's the most irritating thing on earth?
A chartered Accountant wife, wearing a wollen underwear.(courtesy www.charteredaccountant.ws)
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Edited by - TheOne on Jun 07 2003 030007 AM
- Munda Pakistani - 06-10-2003
asalaam o alaikum to all!
THE ONE, tum kya cheez ho, tum ne her ghunte main aik chawal maarnee hotee hai, tum na koi kaam ki baat kerte ho! aur na koi seedha jawab dete ho!
ooper se tum mame bane hue ho! her topic per apni Chawal se nawaazte ho!
I think u r a psychy case (a person having some Mental disorder). ho sakta hai iss main tumhara qasoor na ho! bachpun main tumhare saath kuch aisa hua ho jis ki waja se tum iss site per uss cheez ka badla le rahe ho.
I have studied almost all topics magar tum wakhree shae' he ho
Could u plz. let us live without u!!!!!!!!
Ae Munda Pakistani Ae