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+--- Thread: JOKE (/showthread.php?tid=4504)
- Imran - 07-28-2007
A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."
- oalevel - 07-30-2007
The best relation ever is between two Eyes.
"They blink together"
"move together"
"cry together"
"see together"
"sleep together" and still they never see eachother directly, but if they see a girl one will blink and other will not.
Moral of the STORY...
A girl can break any kind of a relationship
- Cool Lioness - 07-31-2007
<b>Some applications from Pakistanis who learnt English at government funded schools.</b>
A studentâs leave letter As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the class.
A candidate's application This has reference to your advertisement calling for a typist and an accountant - Male or Female As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post.
An employee applied for leave as follows Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave
A leave letter to the headmaster As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today.
An incident of a leave letter I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.
Another leave letter written to the headmaster As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.
A covering note I am enclosed herewith.
A great application for leave As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.
Letter written for application of leave My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave.
Letter writing I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well. [D]
Regards
- Cool Lioness - 08-02-2007
A young boy enters a barbers shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey Son, May I ask you a question?
Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER
- Astute Accountant - 08-04-2007
Captain Nawjawanu!! Move forward!!
Sardar G didnât moveâ¦â¦
Captain U didnât move. Why?
Sardar G O G u said 9 jawanu I was 10th in the lineâ¦â¦â¦
- Astute Accountant - 08-04-2007
Do u know?
18 sardarz go to cinema to watch movie.
Why??
Coz below 18 is not allowedâ¦â¦
- Astute Accountant - 08-04-2007
Breaking News
All the ATMs of Punjab are out of order coz all the sardarniz put their hair PINS when the ATM requested
Plz enter ur PINâ¦â¦â¦
- Imran - 08-20-2007
A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.
He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...''
''But how the heck did you burn the other ear?'' The doctor asked.
''They called back.''
- Astute Accountant - 08-23-2007
A gang of sardarz broke into a bank but instead of cash they found bottles, filled with chilled red wineâ¦â¦ they happily drank it and leftâ¦â¦
The next day a headline cameâ¦â¦â¦ BLOOD BANK LOOTEDâ¦â¦â¦!!!!!!!!
- Astute Accountant - 08-23-2007
1 sardar G k haan 20 saal baad bacha hua but sardar G was so sad.
Sardarâs friend âWhy are you so sad?â
Sardar G â20 saal baad bacha hua aur wo bhi itna chottaâ.
- shsaeed - 08-30-2007
Indians and Polish
There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave.
He stopped and hollered into the cave... "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" and then listened very closely until he heard the answer..."Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He then tore off his clothes and ran in to the cave.
The Polish fellow was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was that Indian goofy or something.
"No", said the other Indian. "It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", and get an answer back, that means that she is in there waiting for you.
Well, just about that time, the other Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" When he heard the return, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", off came the clothes and into the cave he goes.
The Polack started running around the desert looking for a cave to find these women that the Indians had talked about. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw this great big cave.
As he looked in amazement, he was thinking, "Man! Look at the size of that cave! It's bigger then the ones that those Indians found. There must really be something really great in this cave!"
Well... he took-off up the hill at a super fast speed. He got in front of the cave and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He was just tickled all over when he heard the answering call of, "WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOO!!! Off came his clothes and, with a big smile on his face, he raced into the cave.
The next day in the newspaper the head lines read, Naked Polack Run Over By Freight Train!!
- Astute Accountant - 08-30-2007
There was a Sardarji
Who was down on his luck?
In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
Sardarji then wrote a note saying "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.200,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
Signed "A Sardar".
Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag.
Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.200,000 in cash with a note saying "How can a Sardar do this to a fellow Sardar? Take the money, and please leave my son."
Signed âAnother Sardarâ
- Astute Accountant - 08-30-2007
What if Accountants start producing bollywood movies?
1. Munnabhai C.A.
2. Hamara Ledger Aapke Paas Hai
3. Kaho na Depreciation Hai
4. Journal Se Balance Sheet Tak
5. Kabhi Credit Kabhi Debit
6. Hum Tax de Chuke Sanam
7. Kya Yehi Credit Period Hai?
8. Main A/cs ki Diwani Hoon
9. Maine divide kiya
10. Maine divide kiyun kiya
11. Jab Jab Discount Mile
12. Petty Cash Apna Apna
13. Bill hai ke Pass hota nahin
14. Hum hai Accountant bekaar ke
15. Jo Tally hua wohi Trial Balance
16. Bus itna sa BYAZ (Intrest) hai
17. Tera 500 ka note Chal gaya
18. Dhai Akshar BYAZ ke
19. Tally 6.3 instal karke rakhna
20. Ab tumahare hawale pura account saathiyo
21. Balance sheet ki kasam
22. Kiyu Tally ho gaya na
23. Satte pe attha
24. Calculator sirf mere liye
25. Mujhe kuchh likhna hai
26. Solve karo to Cash lo.
27. Salary ke liye saala kuchh bhi karega
28. Accountant tune kya kiya
29. Rehna hai tally karke
30. Bill Vill Byaz Vyaz.
- zurpk - 09-05-2007
Aik borra admi apne nawasay ko kehta he.
Budda aray puttar wo samne wali almaari main mere daant pare hain zara lana.
Bacha Lakin dada jee abhi tu rooti paki hi nahi he?
Budda aray nahi puttar rooti nahi khani. wo samne wali buddi nu smile deni aey. hahahah
- Astute Accountant - 09-11-2007
A sardar G interested to buy a TV, went to a TV shop...
Sardar Do you have color TVs?
Shop keeper surely I do have
Sardar Then give me a green one please...