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Not together now, Why? - Kasim - 02-19-2011

A lot of people come in our lives they play some sort of role in our lives some stayed for a long time, some remain in touch for some time and some just showed up for once or twice and vanished as if we have never met.

However all these people remain in our memories forever and even if not we do recall them on different times. On times when we were used to be with them, while visiting places where we were been together, while saying/ hearing some thing which other person was used to say or some times we see some one, having resemblance with some one we have had in our past, and such person makes us recall the other

Anyway whenever some one comes in our life and stayed for a while
We get used to of such person
We start depending on person
We start expecting from him
We share with him our joys/sorrows
We laugh together and some times upon each other
We cry together and some times for each other
We dream together and some times of each other

But what happens, one day the person leaves us for good or for bad, for his own sake or for our sake or for some other reason (we might not be able to understand then or ever after) or we leave the person and then remains the question behind why people come in life? if they are not to stay.

So topic is about reasons of not being together for ever with every one we want to be.


- Ali RAZA - 02-20-2011

Actually, there are three questions in your letter
1. What happens if one day the person leaves us for good or for bad?
2. Why people come into our life?
3. The reasons why we are not together forever with every one we want to be.

1. It depends on how close you were with that significant one. It also depends on your emotional intelligence - the more intelligent you are, the more space this person will occupy in your soul, so thinking about him/her will take almost all your time. And it can be very painful, it's like cutting of one finger - you can live with 4 on your hand, you can use your hand pretty well, but stiil it aches...Once it took me 2 years to forget, but I forgot only because I started to see the bad sides of that significant one. One more rule - if you want to forget, then you must really want it..otherwise you will refresh your memories all the time just because you don't want to forget.
2. To teach you. Somehow you always get some knowledge from all people you meet. You can't imagine how many things I learnt from internet friend in just one year's time...sometimes it's a negative knowledge, sometimes very positive, but I always learn something new - every day. And not only about different places or cultures, mostly about people, their relationships...
3. The reasons can be very different, starting from very natural ones - like death, for example...Other see, I am very calm by nature, my approach is - what happens, happens for the best, so sometimes you cry and want to stay with somebody, but it only seems to you that you need him/her. Because if he/she is meant to be with you, they will be. But if not, then it's not your fate. Allah just protects you from being with the wrong person. I experienced it myself many times - I was thinking that it should have happened this way and was devastated for many years, but suddenly and in a very unexpected way I learn something about this person, and then I think - Oh, so good that nothing happened between, my opinion is - be calm and enjoy your life as it is!

Hope that I answered to your questions.))

- Kasim - 02-22-2011

thanx bro for ur nice reply
i havent ended topic yet need more to write on it
just need time and mode to do so
will ask u later surely specific questions

- cute-doll - 02-23-2011

Nice topic kasim.
hum un logo kr barey mein kia kahain jab sincerity one sided ho. Aap aik insan ke saath bilkul sincere ho ye soochty huey ke kabhi to wo bhi smjhy ga, kabhi tu sub theak ho jye ga mager doosra insan is baat ko aap ki kamsori maan leti hai.
What about those people ? Aisey log to bilkul aap ke samney hoty hain aur aap chah kar bhi kuch nai kr sakty . Ye dua karty hain ke kaash wo insan hamri zindagi mein ata hi na.

- Kasim - 02-24-2011

Welcome back
aik tu itnay arsay baad ayee ho
or attay he itna serious Q raise kia hay
anyway answer may be

Life return to us what we have already given to it before

some times we ourselves are not sincere to some one cause of no fault at his end and we even have no redemption on it(and later on we dont even remember this)

but when some one is not sincere to us even cause of no fault on our end then only we feel hurt for our sincerity not being valued

and then if we realize ourself,we find out that

Life has returned to us what we have already given to it before

same may not be valid in ur case but is so in mine
will ellaborate it later

- cute-doll - 02-24-2011

Thanks Kasim.
Kasim ye issue mein ne kafi logo ke saath dekha hai. Akser ye bhi hota hai ke aap jis se sincere ho wo aap ko kisi aur ke waja se choor kr chala jata hai aur jab usey wo nai milta to pass again wapis a jata hai. Wo kun ye expect karta hai ke us ke is harkat ke bd wo maafi ke liaiq hai.

- Kasim - 02-24-2011

2 approaches he may have then

+tve one
main ousay na pa saka jissay main nay chaha
chalooo ous ko pa loon jiss nay mijhay chaha


-tve one
some thing is better then nothing

waisay its better k app 2nd chance daydoo ousay but u have to concider few things before

- cute-doll - 02-24-2011

Ist option is better than 2nd one i think . Jo insan aap ko aik dafa choor kr ja sakta hai wo 2nd time bhi ja sakta hai.
Zindagi kabhi aik insan ke anay ya jaaney se khatam thori na ho jati hai.

- Sh.Mohsin - 02-24-2011

Hi Kasim... Salam, hows going life....

Sory yara, I loged on to this forum after a very long time and just to see that who is still available on here.

Sometimes life becomes so busy that we have to sacrifice some memories of the past to make the future and this is infact "the truth".

Anyhow, what about Wardah Baba, Is she live or not????

- Kasim - 02-24-2011

hi bro h.r.u
kafi arsay baad aayy ho
lagta hay iss attempt main do char papers tu nikal he diyeah hain tum nay
so how was ur result?

- youtube - 03-01-2011

first of all i wanna tell u tht i've beeen reading this topic for last 4 days n at once lot of thoughts come to my mind n than i dont find words for my thoughts.....
yar life is like passing the phases; like if u r in good phase than u've to go according to that, may b u can afford to adopt blund n risky approach. And than there r bad phases also n u've to b cautious, giving attention to factors tht mormally u'ld never ponder to think abt. (contrary there r people who spend their life very cautiously n there r people who dont bother abt any thing throughout their life; doing whatever they wanna do)
whatever phase one might b in, one needs the company of a friend wd whom we can discuss our inside us feelings.
throughout our lives we meet people; some get close to us n we get close to some one. it seems easy to others that one person can leave any body without pain, as he/she shows to other that he/she is cool n calm; may b inside them they r passing through a hell. but than there r other type of persons who cry like i'll die or do this or that if there is a break-up.
but the way life has occur to me(my personal experience) fact is when we r passing through difficult times than we say it is the worst time of our life n we wont b able to live if it doesnt happen my way. but at the end when all is over, we extract a lesson from our experience n than move on. as time doesnt pass. for some one moving on period is time taking n for others it is not that long.
my conclusion on making or breaking a relation n to the fact tht we r not together with one person today rest with fate only. but it doesnt like that if one has committed mistakes than we also leave that to fate. so i agree to kasim comment that life bring us what we gave already to it. n what remains wd us is only some pains, some memories n some good moments. but one important point to carry on is tht we should give great attention while making a close relation n infact we should avoid. but fact is we committ mistakes again n it goes on.

- youtube - 03-17-2011

no comments????????

- Kasim - 03-17-2011

When I posted topic even then I had some idea that topic will not be easy one but it will be that much tough I never knew. Anyway, good or bad whatever I have on the topic, here it is.

<b>Reasons why people, who come in life and make the life worth to live, don’t stay forever.</b>

Most of us don’t know how to communicate. We don’t consider what should be frequency, medium, tone and timing of communication as these things really matter in strengthening or weakening the relations. Face to face communication is the best way to know the other person, his/her hidden interests etc but we are always in hurry and mostly we use every other available manner to remain in touch. There were times when lack of communication was to create misunderstandings (especially when internet and mobiles were not common). But now excessive communication can also create misunderstandings, if other requirements not considered properly.

Some times our best buddy wants to be with some one else, wants to explore the world with some one else and prefers that other person on us for any reason. And after some period of time when he comes back to us for any reason, whether realizing his mistake or not and whether learning from it or not, then we must welcome the person with same passion same emotion and same companionship but for once only. Next time he does same mistake he’s out of our life for ever then.

Some people always wait for us, we are to be with them, to visit them, to contact them. They never take the initiative it’s always us who are to say hi first. But when we realize this as one sided friendship and want them to contribute equally, they just don’t do so. At then we have just two options either to continue in same manner or to be apart from the person letting him to decide to continue or not to continue.

Some times one of the persons in a friendship (of opposite gender) wants more from the other, more then being just a friend or even being just a best friend and then its called one sided love, which may or may not succeed.
One sided love is one of the most beautiful things in this world. Only if we are on the cool side of the game, where we don’t love the other person or we don’t have to love the person but the other person, knowing or not knowing this fact, loves us, cares about us, deem we also love him/her or at least have a hope that one day that one sided love will make us love him/her. At then we though have guilt that we r doing some thing unfair but still we enjoy it cause we are being loved by, being cared with being thought about by some one and most importantly because we have the option to return it with same purity or not at all or in worst form to return it with fakeness. If we don’t respond in fair manner and depart the person or he/she leaves us then after few years of this love scene coming to an end we may not even remember that how much pain we have given to the other person. At then we may have no idea that life will one day return to us what we have already contributed to it before, soon or later we may have to be on the other side of game.

Being straight forward is a good trait but being stupidly straight forward or being straightforward without any need always creates problems. One must know when to be diplomatic and when to be straight forward but very rare people own this attribute. Same is the case with being truthful. Some times to lie or to not to be truthful at all is better option then to speak a truth. Some times silence is the most effective reply back but we really don’t know when to remain silent. On the contrary some times our silence confirms whatever negative other person says about us but we remain silent then, which does let other person to the final conclusion about us in light of his initial perception.

One should always be balanced first of all within him/her self and then towards others. One should always take good care of his own space and other one’s space, not cross limits drawn by others as well as not to let others cross their limits. Very first time some one cross his limits is the best time to make such person realize what in fact his limits are, what we expect from him, what is accepted from him and how he is to act and react to us. Otherwise person will get used to of the relaxation we gave him in initial stages and later on he will take it as his right.

Some times other person feels comfortable with us, he/she share’s with us and we take it as the person trust us and we expect to be trusted in every matter then. But later on when the person don’t want to share some thing we mind it as if we are not trusted.

<b>Some times we our self have issues at our side due to which people leave us or due to which we may leave others like </b>

Some times we commit with others too early without giving a proper thought of their personalities, their limitations, their requirements to live life and their compatibility with our own selves and later on when the other person depends on us and we feel difficulty to walk with the person, we just forget our promises and leave him/her alone.

we may expect too much from others which he/she cant do at all for us, which may be against the nature of the person being expected for, which if the other person requires from us will not be fair at all in our own view or which if fulfilled by the other person, only for our sake, will destroy his/her personality and his /her right to remain him/her self.

We may consider that we know the person well and as per our perceptions we can imagine how that person may be in future to us. And we take our perception as final.

Some times we don’t want to be lied by others, regardless the fact that we ourselves lie to others, regardless the fact that every one has some thing which they don’t want to share. We just forget that every thing is not to tell every body and some things are not to tell any body.

Some times we go for uncomplicated options e.g what most of us do when the person we can’t live without is same the person we can’t live with. We just leave the person, choosing the easy option. Or if we continue with the person then we continue just for the time being, knowing that later on we are to leave the person also knowing that it will end on pain only but we continue for short terms. As this companionship goes on in intervals, so it not continues association. For short terms it may be best time of life but in long run it’s the worst one.

Some times we know that other person is lying to us but we let him lie, don’t share what we feel, we don’t clear things when it’s best time to do so and/or we don’t even quarrel when we should or for what we should. We just accumulate things to make the mess later on. Reason may be simple that we may don’t know how to express, how to expect, and how to love. Kissi ko apna banana ya phir sirf kissi ka ban jana bhi her kissi k buss main hota hay or shaid naseeb main bhi nahi.

Some times we look for exceptional care and love from others, forgetting that

Not every one can read our eyes.
Not every one can see tears that never drop.
Not every one can feel what we feel and how we feel.
Not every one can listen what we say between the lines.
Not every one can find out the change in our tune and its reason.
Not every one can understand that what we say or what we do may be totally opposite from what we want to say or want to do.

We are worst when we don’t make our selves’ simple, judgeable and predictable. We should always remember that

Not every one can understand what we ask him/her to do may not be what we want him her to do (as we may be observing the other person then).

(All those people who are considered mysterious own this thing)

Some times we repeat same mistakes with same or different persons. We may try to overcome these mistakes but they happen again and again reason may be simple they may be part of our nature. And nature can’t be changed easily and may not be at all however we should try to reduce tendencies of our built in faults.

<b>Every relation has its value, importance and strengths at a given set of time which may not remain the same in some other time. So we should know when and how to share, express, love and be friendly with others. </b>

There was a dialogue in movie named English Patient, “In memories love lives forever” but in fact in memories love and friendships both live forever.
But as life is name of moving forward therefore we should move forward leaving the past behind with open heart for people who are to come in our lives and also for the people who have gone from our lives due to their mistakes or ours’ and we should be committed to ourselves to not to repeat the same mistakes again or to not to let the others do same mistakes again.

I believe that there are only two things one should know to do any thing superbly, let’s say to spend a victorious life, either to know how to spend life in a perfect manner or to know how to mess it. Some where deep inside us we do have answer of every question related to our own selves we just need to find them out and remove the reasons. I myself personally lack in all do’s I wrote above and do posses all don’ts mentioned above so I know why people with whom I have spent fabulous time of my life are still not with me, just need to remove the reasons.

[b]To all such persons who are no more in our lives [b/]

Use kehna ya duna hay
yahan har mor pe
aesay bahot se log milte hain
joe ander tak utarty hain

abad tak sath rehne ki
ekhatyay dard sahnay ki
hamesha baat kertay hain

Use kehna ya duna hay
Yahan her shaks matlab ki
hadon tak sath chalta hay
johni mosam badalta hay
muhabbat k sabhi daway
sabhi qasmain sabhi waday
achanak tot jatay hain

Use kehna ya duna hay
yahan har mor pe apni
sada ankhain khuli rakhna
Yahan har morr pe apni,
Sada aankhain khuli rakhna,
Koi kitna bhi acha lagay,
Koi kitna bhi sacha lagay,
Magar aeitbar mat karna,

May God enable us to see things, events and people as they in fact are and not as we want to see them or as they want us to see them. (Ameen)

Take care

- olympia - 03-18-2011

bohat sachi batain likhi hain kasim ap ne.

- Anamz1 - 03-21-2011

[8)][8)][8)][8)][8)][8)][8)][8)][8)][8)] ufffffffffffffffffffffff abhi tak kitna likhtay ho tum loo[0][0][0][0]g