01-24-2005, 03:33 AM
Okay, so I got this joke in the email. Usually I do not find email jokes amusing, but this one was an exception. At the risk of initiating a flood of bad email jokes I will post it. Admin- If you have a problem with it, please delete it or move it to the General Dicussion. I will understand.
Thermodynamics of Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. "As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. "With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added. This gives two possibilities
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
"So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, '...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you,' and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
---------------------------------------------
If I could... Then I would... Turn back time!!
Thermodynamics of Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. "As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. "With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added. This gives two possibilities
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
"So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, '...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you,' and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
---------------------------------------------
If I could... Then I would... Turn back time!!