02-01-2005, 09:25 PM
Yes, BOB, Hang in there.
No need to take hasty decisions. The fact that she knows you know will give her pause, and possibly help her to sort out her own thoughts and feelings. Hopefully that will make for a more productive discussion when the time comes.
Keep the faith that because you are at the bottom, the only way forward will be up, eventually. I know that every second seems a minute in disguise.
I lost a year-older brother at 24 and a son. I've been fired from a job where I was overwhelmed with duties not in the job description when I applied. I've been floor-ridden with a bad back so severe I had to do everything (get it?) where I lay. I lived 6 months on the road stone broke and scavanging black-market jobs to buy food; forget shelter, I took anything out of the rain.
It all got better, each time. The strength lies within you. We are all tougher than we think. Push has comes to shove in your life, and right now you have to endure and let your mind sort it out. It will. Focus on those five innocent children and do nothing to make the jolt harder on them. Being a good dad right now, in the middle of your grief, is simply the right thing for those even more exposed than you. But don't play her off against you in their hearts.
It'll be tough, but worth it, when time starts to heal you. The more decent you can be even as the wronged partner, the stronger and better off you be in the future. You have years and years left, which will be good ones. Accept this year as your personal trial. Keep in focus that millions have been here before, and made very good recoveries. Find you strength and your best nature, but don't play the martyr. Seek out friends who you know have been through this in their life, ones who you admire now for who they are in the aftermath.
Endure and grow and love those kids.
Abraham Lincoln, who suffered from depression, once said "Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional."
If you aren't getting the strength you need from any religion you practice. You may want to seek out a therapist, not because you are wrong in the head, but because they have a lot of experience with all of this, and may have tips for coping strategies that will help you go forward. You brought your problem to us, which means you are open enough to seek help and not gut it out alone and in the dark.
No need to take hasty decisions.
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If I could... Then I would... Turn back time!!
No need to take hasty decisions. The fact that she knows you know will give her pause, and possibly help her to sort out her own thoughts and feelings. Hopefully that will make for a more productive discussion when the time comes.
Keep the faith that because you are at the bottom, the only way forward will be up, eventually. I know that every second seems a minute in disguise.
I lost a year-older brother at 24 and a son. I've been fired from a job where I was overwhelmed with duties not in the job description when I applied. I've been floor-ridden with a bad back so severe I had to do everything (get it?) where I lay. I lived 6 months on the road stone broke and scavanging black-market jobs to buy food; forget shelter, I took anything out of the rain.
It all got better, each time. The strength lies within you. We are all tougher than we think. Push has comes to shove in your life, and right now you have to endure and let your mind sort it out. It will. Focus on those five innocent children and do nothing to make the jolt harder on them. Being a good dad right now, in the middle of your grief, is simply the right thing for those even more exposed than you. But don't play her off against you in their hearts.
It'll be tough, but worth it, when time starts to heal you. The more decent you can be even as the wronged partner, the stronger and better off you be in the future. You have years and years left, which will be good ones. Accept this year as your personal trial. Keep in focus that millions have been here before, and made very good recoveries. Find you strength and your best nature, but don't play the martyr. Seek out friends who you know have been through this in their life, ones who you admire now for who they are in the aftermath.
Endure and grow and love those kids.
Abraham Lincoln, who suffered from depression, once said "Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional."
If you aren't getting the strength you need from any religion you practice. You may want to seek out a therapist, not because you are wrong in the head, but because they have a lot of experience with all of this, and may have tips for coping strategies that will help you go forward. You brought your problem to us, which means you are open enough to seek help and not gut it out alone and in the dark.
No need to take hasty decisions.
---------------------------------------------
If I could... Then I would... Turn back time!!